Hi

[maz83]

Just thought I'd post something to introduce myself, i'm 26 and suffer from chronic depression, I know it sounds awful but for as long as I can remember I've always felt like I'm a failure and not good enough, I've considered suicide since I was 14 and have made several attempts, but the most serious attempt happened in October when I ended up having to stay in hospital for a week being treated for carbon monoxide poisoning.

Since then I've started receiving intensive help from the community mental health team, and now on 45mg mirtazapine (been on anti deppressants many times before but stopped taking it every time). I've started to feel a bit more positive about my life but realise theres no magic cure to make me feel 'normal' overnight, and in order for me to get to a happier place in my life the only person who can make that happen is me. So I thought i'd join this forum so I have somewhere to come to open up, as my biggest problem is opening up to those close to me for fear they'll judge me for how i'm feeling, while in a way it seems easier to open up on here where no one can see me.

At the moment just taking things one step at  time, and keeping focused on getting better for my 7 year old son as he's so precious to me and deserves to have a mum who's there for him.

[Flea]

Hi,
I have just started mirtazipine, and was wondering what your experience is of it?  You said you are feeling more positive, so that's good.  :)

I think you are right when you say we have to make the effort to help ourselves - it's just so hard though isn't it? 
x

[girlwithtwohearts]

It is true - we do have to make an effort unfortunately. We can't sit back and hope the drugs do all the work.  Getting outside, taking exercise (says she who hasn't been doing exercise every day - more like once a week!)    But it IS hard.  But we have to help ourselves - we are the only ones who can.

Have you often talked to strangers about this - just in the desperate hope they can magically help you?   No one can, but ourselves, it is the only way.  the horrible thing about depression, is that it knocks any motivation to do anything at all.  We have to get up and fight the Monster.
I know only too well, that lying in bed or sitting around the house all day dwelling, just feeds the depression.  As yet, I have not had the strength to fight it.

Let's go to war guys, let's start fighting back a little more each day.

(War cry ....yaaaarrrrrrrr!)       /.,

 $%^

[Flea]

It is true - we do have to make an effort unfortunately. We can't sit back and hope the drugs do all the work.  Getting outside, taking exercise (says she who hasn't been doing exercise every day - more like once a week!)    But it IS hard.  But we have to help ourselves - we are the only ones who can.

Have you often talked to strangers about this - just in the desperate hope they can magically help you?   No one can, but ourselves, it is the only way.  the horrible thing about depression, is that it knocks any motivation to do anything at all.  We have to get up and fight the Monster.
I know only too well, that lying in bed or sitting around the house all day dwelling, just feeds the depression.  As yet, I have not had the strength to fight it.

Let's go to war guys, let's start fighting back a little more each day.

(War cry ....yaaaarrrrrrrr!)       /.,

 $%^

Your post made me smile....yes, let's fight the monster...who made him boss?!!

[girlwithtwohearts]

Absolutely!   I can recommend a great book, called 'How to Stop Worrying and Start Living' by Dale Carnegie - it'll help us fight the monster.

Maybe if we picture it as a 'gremlin' a bit like in the chest cough advert - and it shrinks away to nothing when we take action. I know it's not going to be that simple - but it's worth thinking of it like that if it helps fight it.   
 *()