Hi - Here and unsure if I should be....

[Acie]

Hi - just joined up as not really sure where to go….

I just want to say I’m still unsure of what my situation is and what my problem is.  I’m not claiming to be depressed as such, just struggling to understand what’s going on and what I can do.  I’ve always been quite a grumpy and unhappy person since my teen years - I‘m in my mid twenties now.  I often feel absolutely fine and convinced I’m ok and things are going well, and then the next I fall to pieces.  I’m fine when things are going well and how I want but its almost as soon as I don’t get my own way I get really, really upset and down.  Only today I had a good day at work and with friends in the evening.  Then I came home and got stressed and put myself in a bad mood because of money.  The next thing I’m collapsed on my bed, upset and in pieces.   I’m also never content - Im always wanting something more and if I cant have it I must have it and constantly think about it - and don’t think I’ll be happy till I get it or do it.  Like a child, if I can't get it or have it I get angry or really down or lash out.  For example my ex - when we were together I didnt want her.  When we broke up I was fine till I found out she moved on and I was distraught.  I know this sounds like normal love life stuff but I’m never happy and this is just part of it.  I can feel fine and having a good time and laughing, then I’ll be driving home and start crying because I feel like life is rubbish again.  Im never happy and I want to be.  I want to enjoy life and not get down and so upset like I do.  It can really affect my day-to-day life.  I can genuinely be fine one minute and the opposite the next.  I got really down over 2 years ago when me and an ex broke up.  It was really complicated and I was in pieces for quite a while and never really got over it.  But like I said before I was fine when I thought it was my decision but as soon as that control was taken away I was distraught.  I went to my doc and broke down in front of him but feel he just felt it was due to the beak-up which to be honest it partly was.  But even since then I often get down and upset but can be fine the next.  One minute I might be feeling really positive but the next Im completely negative and down.  I don’t want to cause offence and claim I’m depressed in some way when perhaps I’m not….  Perhaps Im just a sad, grumpy and unhappy person.  All I know is that I get really really down and upset and am not always happy within myself.  And I want to be happy and enjoy life.  I don’t have issues like loss of apetite or lack of sleep, but I often wake up and feel sick from unhappiness.  It really messed up my old job too as I couldn’t concentrate and used to find myself crying in the toilets or coffee room.  I thought I’d got better but every so often I get like it again, but then it can go.  I can honestly be ok one minute then really down the next.  I’m like a yo yo.

[Zaf]

Hi Acie

I would say go back to your GP and/or get some decent professional counselling.

You'll find everyone here helpful and friendly :)

[weenancy]

hi acie and welcome

i agree with zaf that you need to go back to your gp.  i have been here a couple of weeks myself and it has really hepled.  evryone is so friendly and supportive   xx

[Got]

A lot of what you said rang true for me. It does sound like you are depressed, but perhaps you are able to work things out and learn to improve the way you feel. Never feeling content is something I have, and also, like you, it is in relationships as well...I think I dont want that person, then when she is gone I am a mess. That lack of contentment can lead to some daft decisions for sure.

Acheiving a feeling of contentment is probably something most people would like to do yet havnt done, but when it gets to the stage when your crying, lying in bed and feeling worthless, it is time to try to start getting yourself better.

You probably feel like you are making it up, making excusses for yourself or are just complaining too much....but the way you are feeling is unpleasent, and so you are right to try to look for help and consider that you may be depressed. You might not be due for a severe episode anytime soon, but it is right that you acknowledge that you are feeling this way, and I think you are sensible to want to change this situation, so that it wont get worse. The mistake I made is feeling just like you, but I kept ongoing, telling myself I was beeing soft, and over the space of a few years I managed to get very ill.

Take care,

Steve

[Lol]

Hi Acie. You are going through a very difficult and confusing time. Your feelings are affecting your life and are quite traumatic at times. This is something that can be addresssed and the best place to start is to go back to your GP and re explain. What you have told us here makes perfect sense so please try to say a simelar thing when you get there. I understand that it sounds quite random when you are trying to tell some one else all about it but I assure you it certainly wont sound unfamiliar to your GP!!! from what you have said, counselling could really help you to sort through your feelings and make more sense of them also. I hope you find this forum useful. We will all help you as much as we can.

[Acie]

Thank you all so much for the replies.  It's good to try and talk as tbh it's something I've found difficult.  Thanks to Steve as well - reading what you said from someone who was in a similar state really helped.  I think I'll make that GP appointment tomorrow....