Hello My Name Is Paul

[Paulnp63]

My counsellor rang me yesterday and my first session is scheduled for next Monday!
I am very excited and hoping it will help somewhat, but I think it will.
I live in London and love museums too, if you ever want to go to one together and make a new friend, just let me know!
Have a great weekend!
Isserley

I'm sure you will find it helpful and would like to know how you get on, it does make you feel better, mine counsellor was really nice, talked though what had happened, asked some questions so he could understand my problems, there was no pressure at any time, he then set me some goals as homework, which I'm not sure if I'll reach them all, but then he did say I may not but do your best and we'll talk about it next time, I tried the relaxation disc last night, couldn't stop laughing to be honest, think it was the guy's voice, put the radio on after and went to sleep listening to that instead.

I have ordered a new Oyster card as I can't find the one I had, should be with me in the week, I would love to meet up to look round a museum, I'm sure it will give us both something possitive to look forward too, it's which museum to go to though, I have a few favourites I have enjoyed in the past, will have a think unless you have a favourite, I do know there is a Charity Christmas Pudding Race in Covent Garden they do every year, fancy dressed teams running round an obstacle course of inflatable slides and things, it can be really funny to watch, haven't been for ages due to living in Cornwall, checking it says 3rd December, I would love to see that so will put that on my list of things to do in London  :)

Keep possitive Isserley,

Paul  :)

[Paulnp63]

Hi Zaf,

I must admit it is amazing how I am now to how I was back then, I don't remember much of what happened daily before joining this forum or in the earlier posts really if I hadn't looked, it's just as though I've lost a few months of my life, gone forever, my mum says life goes on and things will get better in time, I have got inside my head what I want to do and its on my list of goals too, it's just doing it that seems to be so hard, but little things are happening that are helping me to get there, I know I have done a couple of bigger steps than I should have done and hurt myself so to speak, but each little thing that I do or comes along I know is another step in getting better, it was going to be a big step going back into London, whether I would have gone on my own or not I don't know, I sorted out the card so I can travel about London easier, my next was actually doing that, having Isserley say she would meet me and go round a museum together will give me more incentive to do so and I would be so grateful to her if she does, hopefully we can help each other out in being possitive.

Right I'm off to bed, might try that cd again and try not to laugh at the guy's voice,

Night Zaf, Night All,

Paul  :)

[Zaf]

It sounds as though you are making fantastic progress Paul  :) and you've realised if you overdo things you may go down with a bit of a bump for a few days,  those are the times I find it useful to look back and realise how much progress Ive made so that might help you too.

With love, Zaf xx

[Paulnp63]

It sounds as though you are making fantastic progress Paul  :) and you've realised if you overdo things you may go down with a bit of a bump for a few days,  those are the times I find it useful to look back and realise how much progress Ive made so that might help you too.

With love, Zaf xx

Hi Zaf,

My mum said how much I have improved too, I do still have a day or so when I really just want to lay and do nothing, quite often fall asleep too, then I have nights like this when I can't get to sleep, I think I do need something to look forward to, like meeting up with the lions club, I got a message to meet two of them next Monday and then meet the rest of the club at their christmas meal meeting 10th Dec, so looking forward to that, just got my Oyster travel card today, so that will give me an incentive to get into London and if Isserley still wants to meet me there (no pressure), it could be another boost for both of us, may get myself up and go in to London Saturday anyway will shall see, it seems I'm happy meeting people, I may shake a little bit to start with and before the meeting, but not as much as when I went to do those jobs the other sunday, I've met a few new people locally and I have been fine.

Well off to lie down, don't think that CD is going to work, my mum listened to it and said it would more likely send her to sleep than me  :)

Night Zaf x  :)

[Zaf]

Hi Paul,

I'm not surprised your mum can see a difference too, since you first joined here its almost like talking to another person, you have made huge progress and also realise you will have the occasional set back which I tnink is very important :)

Hope the meeting with the Lions people goes well, it really sounds a good way of doing a little more and meeting people.

Have you tried any other ways of getting to sleep?

Thinking of you

Z xx

[Lol]

Hi Paul, I second that, improvement is really obvious since you have been on the forum. You must give yourself a massive pat on the back. Well done  :)

[Paulnp63]

Thank you Zaf,

I haven't thought of any other ways really to get to sleep, I've never been a book reader although have given it a go and it's just not me, the CD doesn't really work, the radio does if its a plain story on but if its a comedy I can't help but lay and listen to it, TV I just end up watching it, Usually when I feel tired and go and lay down I can sometimes have a couple of hours sleep, I've tried to stay awake during whats left of the day if I'm at home, but then I end up with a headache and then still can't get to sleep at night, then I just lay there for ages, when I eventually get to sleep I usually have about 5-7 hours in one go, so in away it completely messes up my day and I did say this to my counsellor, which is why I ended up with the CD. Days when I'm out of the house I'm a little better, I don't get a headache, but then I still don't get to sleep later that night, I will overcome it though and getting to do more things will get me there.

I'm meeting two from the Lions Club next Monday evening, quite looking forward to it, but looking at the time now, I can't see me going to London tomorrow sadly, by the time I wake up got to the tube station and into London it'll be late and probably Dark, not into London's nightlife just yet, museums will be closed too I expect, oh well will have to try for next Saturday, as I really want to go in and see that event.

Well night night Zaf, hoping your ok too.

Take good care,

Paul  :)

[Paulnp63]

Hi Paul, I second that, improvement is really obvious since you have been on the forum. You must give yourself a massive pat on the back. Well done  :)

Thank you Lol, I'm obviously stronger than I thought, plus help from everyone one else too makes a difference,

Cheers and take good care,

Night

Paul  :)

[Zaf]

Thank you Zaf,

I haven't thought of any other ways really to get to sleep, I've never been a book reader although have given it a go and it's just not me, the CD doesn't really work, the radio does if its a plain story on but if its a comedy I can't help but lay and listen to it, TV I just end up watching it, Usually when I feel tired and go and lay down I can sometimes have a couple of hours sleep, I've tried to stay awake during whats left of the day if I'm at home, but then I end up with a headache and then still can't get to sleep at night, then I just lay there for ages, when I eventually get to sleep I usually have about 5-7 hours in one go, so in away it completely messes up my day and I did say this to my counsellor, which is why I ended up with the CD. Days when I'm out of the house I'm a little better, I don't get a headache, but then I still don't get to sleep later that night, I will overcome it though and getting to do more things will get me there.

I'm meeting two from the Lions Club next Monday evening, quite looking forward to it, but looking at the time now, I can't see me going to London tomorrow sadly, by the time I wake up got to the tube station and into London it'll be late and probably Dark, not into London's nightlife just yet, museums will be closed too I expect, oh well will have to try for next Saturday, as I really want to go in and see that event.

Well night night Zaf, hoping your ok too.

Take good care,

Paul  :)

What is the CD you're using Paul?  I have one that is the sound of waves rippling up and down a beach, if I can imagine myself on a sunny beach while I'm listening to it that can sometimes help.

Your meeting with the Lions people is a very positive step forward and really shows how much you are improving which is wonderful :)

Thinking of you

 Xx

[Paulnp63]

What is the CD you're using Paul?  I have one that is the sound of waves rippling up and down a beach, if I can imagine myself on a sunny beach while I'm listening to it that can sometimes help.

That would sound better, its gentle organ music I think, it's just the guy talking over it all the time with a funny voice (well it sounds funny to me), I know it's supposed to help you relax, but I think just the music would have been better on its own, perhaps a second track on the CD with just the music would have been better.

Didn't feel that good saturday, slept most of the day, didn't wake up till gone 1pm, just felt so tired still, had something to eat anyway and went back and laid down again, next thing I knew Strictly Come Dancing was about to start, watched that and then slept some more, was up at 5am, went back about 11am slept some more till about 3pm, had something to eat, had another sleep for about an hour or so and been awake ever since, just seems to go that way sometimes at the moment, I have a mass of sleep and then a day or so where I can't get to sleep properly, but it seems it's the way it is at the moment till I can get over this. Got to see the doctor on Tuesday, so will see what he has to say.

Take care Zaf and hope all is well,

Paul  :)

[Zaf]

Hi Paul

I think different CDs would suit different people,  I do find the one with the waves really very relaxing expecially if I can think of myself on that warm sunny beach!

I think weird sleep patterns is par for the course,  it certainly affects me a lot even now that I am beginning to recover a bit.  Its definitely a good idea to speak to your doctor about it though.

Give your mum a big hug from me

Z xx

[Paulnp63]

Hi Zaf,

Seeing the doctor today as it is now, so will mention what happened over the weekend, it continued as I had a nap after that message last night, but was up about 4am again, just couldn't settle so came down and had a cuppa, came back up awhile later 6am I think and slept till 2pm, my mum thinks it may be time to ease off the anti-depressants, well I'll see what the Doctor says first, it does make it hard to get a routine in place, when I see the counsellor again I tell him about the CD, but he did say it may or may not work and some throw it in the bin.

Met two from the Lions Club tonight in a quaint little pub not far from Stansted Airport, had a lovely chat and talked about what they do in the community and about the other members, what we did in the Club I was in etc, good evening all round, I was a bit worried that I would shake like I did when doing that job a while ago, but I didn't and I felt good after, got the meal to go on the 10th when I meet all the others, I might shake a bit then I guess.

Saw Deal or No Deal today on C4, the young lady on there cried nearly all the time through opening the boxes, turned out she suffered from depression too, was happy only when spending money to help others or something like that, got herself into debt from it, really felt for her after she had dealt at £26000 and had £75000 in her box and was I think offered £150000 at one point, think she used up all the tissues in the box she had there.

Better get some sleep if I can before seeing the doctor,

Take Care and Night Night,

Paul  :)

[Zaf]

Hi Paul

Its definitely best to check with your GP before altering your dose, Ive done that in the past only to find it was a backwards step,  I've not been sleeping properly again but I forgot to use the aromatherapy oil for the last couple of nights so that may be the reason.

Your meeting with the Lions people sounds very positive, especially as you werent shaking, thats a huge forward step :)

Hope all goes well with the doctor.

Thinking of you xx

[Paulnp63]

Hi Zaf,

The Doctors said I still have to stay with the anti-depressants, so it's a good job I didn't stop them, he said my blood pressure was still high so got more tablets to take, got a blood test to have as well and to wear a monitor from my next check up. He did say that an all soft gentle carming music CD might be better for me, but going on the last few days I seem to have sleeping sickness, really struggle to stay awake at times, I almost didn't go to the doctors, the appointment was 2.20pm and I was still asleep at 2pm, mum woke me and off we rushed, luckily the doctors is not far away, must admit had a headache following that, sadly he is leaving the practice now, told me he was going back to work at the hospital, shame because he was really good, got a survey to fill in now, top marks from me, anyway I haven't got to see a doctor until February now, so thats a bonus, unless I suddenly slip backwards again that is.

My mum thought I wasn't going to go to see those Lions Club Members, I did have a few moments when I felt the same, but I knew I could do it, I think its because there is no pressure with being a member, you can do as little or as much as you like supporting the things they do, also it depends on your commitments elsewhere too, plus I know all of them can be really friendly people from all walks of life and it can be very rewarding as well, I'm pleased with myself for going and so was my doctor too.

Hoping you using the aromatherapy oils again, couldn't email a copy of that CD could you... only joking

Was gone midday when I woke up again today, then we went over to my brothers this evening as it was his grandsons birthday, struggled to stay awake, had a small nap when I got home and now after only being awake for about an hour or so I'm feeling tired again, see how I sleep tonight,

Take Care, Night night,

Paul  :)

[Zaf]

Hi Paul, its never a good idea to stop ADs without the doctor's advice as from my experience its usually advised to come off them slowly over a few weeks or months.  I find leeping too much is just as bad as not sleeping enough imo, Its one of the things I find very diffcult to cope with    Its a shame your doctor is leaving but there's no reason why you wont get one equally good or even better :)

Seeing the Lions club people really shows how much you are progressing, you should be proud of yourself for being strong enough to go and for finding positive ways of getting yourself better :)

At the moment nothing is helping me sleep unfortunately but I'll keep trying!  I can always let you have the name of the CD if you think it might help....

Take care, Z xx