Anorexia AND Bullimea???!

[DumpsInTheDown]

I don't eat anything at all,
but on the rare occasion I feel compelled to do so, and then try to make myself sick but it doesnt work
I just need helpbecause I am now so weak and migraines are so bad

most of the time I just don't eat

Help.

[Munchroom]

Hey.... you have realised that you have a problem, that is the first major step in overcoming this.

I don't suffer with bulimia, but I have stages when I hardly eat anything at all. It started off not by choice, I was too anxious to eat. I have just finished a book by Ned Vizzini called Its a Funny Kind of Story and the guy in the book describes the feeling as if there is a little tiny man in your stomach and when he gets the desire to eat, he tugs on a rope. But, he tugs so hard, he is tightening your throat - making it feel like nothing can get down... its the closest I've found to describe the feeling when the food is there - but you literally cannot eat it.

I think my problem with food has bordered more on an ED recently... I realise it probably ties in with the depression and it happens mostly when I'm suffering from very low mood, but I just have no motivation to make a meal, to go through all of the thoughts involved in cooking it... then actually sit down and eat it. I have at times felt quite proud of myself for not eating - which I know is dangerous. If I lived on my own though, I'd probably hardly eat - its only because my boyfriend makes me eat some days that I eat at all....

One thing that I was advised to do was just to leave small 'snacks' around the house. A bowl of nuts, some dried fruit, chcolate, crisps, popcorn.... anything it doesn't have to be healthy or nutritious (obviously better if it is...) but the important thing is that you are making your stomach work - otherwise it will just get used to not having food... which can't be a great feeling. Also, as I'm sure you are probably aware, your stomach has probably shrunk, so it cant physically manage what you would have eaten before...

I love food, I love preparing it and I used to love eating it - not in a ridiculous portion size or anything like that! And I have never had a problem with my wieght... this just seems to be something that has manifested itself along with the depression - perhaps because it is something we feel we have control over? I don't know...

I do understand what a stuggle it is though and how frustrating it is when others are encouraging you to eat and you feel like you physically can't. I would just say go to the shop - buy what you fancy, doesn't matter how ridiculous it is! And just eat it as and when you can. Forget about mealtimes, 5 a day, cereal for breakfast... all the 'rules' we have assigned for food. Anything you eat at the moment will be an improvement.

xx

[Pete]

Hi,

As you now realise , you have a problem and the fact your getting headches etc just shows your body is talking to you telling you that you have a problem. I know your head is saying different but it is important that you try. As has been said try and leave snacks around. Maybe even try drinking thinks like milkshakes or anything with vitamins such as lucozade etc just so you don't get too weak.

Also I have to say I do not and have no experience with eating disorders so can really advise but why not try and replace the ritual of eating then trying to vomit. Maybe eat then for ten mins listen to music or read a book anything to just take way that ritual. I don't know if this will work but its worth a try .

Also write down on a piece of paper "I think I have an eating disorder" then book an appointment to see your doctor and do nothing until you see them and give them your note. This way you won't have to worry about what to say but get help and get help soon ok. In the meantime log into here every day and chat to us and let's all work together eh