How are you feeling today?

[Pete]

Hi again all
sorry for the sudden vanishing act but its been so hard to manage to do anything.

Dont know where to start but taking pills, citrolpram upped to  40mg a day now and also on 6mg diazepam as I started to have some really bad aggresive "episodes" outside.

basically I dont go out now unless its to the docs, I feel ok there but anywhere else i know people can see i'm going mad.

Right now I feel a little steady but I am just waiting for the old brain to kick in again and mess me about.

I have started of late to have crazy flashing images in my head, imagine a flick book or just grab the argos and flick through it, thats it.

I find myself thinking about loads of things all at the same time and it drains me yet sleep has been resigned to the history books for the most part.

waiting for appt with psych peeps but doc called them last time i saw him to rush them due to me being agitated and getting angry for no reason.

not sure whats going on really but trying to find out from internet ( i know not wise) but i fit into all the bipolar and cyclowotsit ranges, all test completed say i have bipolar.....not sure how i feel about that but at least it would bean answer, right now i know nothing.

feeling jittery again now, its like i'm up and down all day, hard to handle to be honest makes me so tired but if i close my eyes its images. lol talking to myself now as i type...nutter i think lol

[Zaf]

I'll be thinking of you tonight lol, the only thing I can think of that might help is that you dont try too hard

[Alstare1974]

Lol. Good luck mate, hope it goes ok.

Pete. Welcome back.

Feeling quite low tonight (again). Bought a radio alarm clock for my room so I can listen to something whilst I try and sleep. Hope it helps, suppose it's got to be better than lying in quiet thinking.

[cornish]

feeling horrific, got to have an emergency appointment with psychiatrist on monday

[Alstare1974]

Sorry tohear that Cornish, been wondering how you are.

[Munchroom]

Pete! Welcome back  :) I completely understand where you are coming from with the flick book analogy!! I sometimes think that if I could just pause my brain, even just for 10 minutes, I'd be able to cope!

Thats a really good idea with the radio alarm clock Alstare - sometimes they play very cool old music on the radio... very soothing for when you want to get to sleep!

Cornish - whats happened?? I thought things had seemed a little quiet with you over the last few days?

xxx

[cornish]

just really need to, dont want to go into it

[Alstare1974]

Hope youre ok mate.

[Zaf]

Sorry to hear you're not doing too well cornish and pete, hows things today Alstare?

I'm just back from taking OH to A&E, someone knocked him off his bike, fortunately only soft tissue damage and a lot of bruising, the bike is a real mess

[Depina]

Sorry to hear that,glad all ok now
XX

[cornish]

thanks

sorry to hear that zaf, at least hes ok, at the end of the day the bike is only a bit of metal, even though i didnt think that way when my soarer was written off.

[Zaf]

Yes, thats the main thing, it just had to be his Daytona which he spent years restoring but I keep telling him not to worry about it.

He is going to be very stiff and sore in the morning

[Alstare1974]

Just lost some friends as they've sided with my wife. Feel devastated.

[Zaf]

Thats awful Alstare, I cant understand why people feel the need to take sides

[Alstare1974]

I'm not sure how much I can deal with. I don't want to go on. I wish I could just go.