How are you feeling today?

[Pete]

Manic  !"!

What started out as just cooking a roast and a trifle for friends tonight has turned into THREE courses and I've even chucked in a 'palette cleanser' (wtf?!) because I keep thinking of ideas!!! I have just spoken to my mum on the phone and I knew as I was talking I was sounding a bit hyper, so I've promised her I will have a lazy day tommorow... hope I dont crash before then! 

Sounds like a really nice meal, any chance of posting me a plateful lol

[Munchroom]

Pete... You have done a really big thing in going to that appointment thismorning. It's nerveracking enough without your experience at the doctors last week!

They give you that warning with all AD's I think... they pretty much all come with side effects and take 4-6 weeks to get into your system properly, so I guess it is the doctors quick way of saying 1) Don't expect instant results and 2) There may be things that make you feel worse DUE to taking them. From what I've gathered the most common are.... tiredness/loss of libido/ increase or decrease in appetite... which are all major depressive symptoms anyway! But if you find anything unbearable that do not hesitate to go back and see him  :)

I have been on ESA for a few months - don't get me started!! I had to go to an appeal last week because when I went for my medical, the guy assesed that I wasn't shaking/trembling, kept eye contact, 'had no suicidal ideas and showed no signs of self harm' (two things I wasnt even asked about and if I was then I would have been able to show him the scars...) and I appeared 'calm'  After that expereince, my advice would be to be very wary of what you say you are able to do.... I couldn't leave the house alone, yet in february recieved a phonecall out of the blue telling me they were stopping the benefit because according to my medical I was able to go back to work! Please pm me if you want any more advice about the medical - I could ramble on for hours!!

x

[Munchroom]

[/quote]

Sounds like a really nice meal, any chance of posting me a plateful lol
[/quote]

Haha I'm now questioning the desicion of cooking a roast dinner on a hot day....  I did only invite them around because I have a massive leg of lamb though....

[Zaf]

Pete, you've done fantastically well, do go back to your doc and make that appointment with the CPN too, not sure who she is, I had a psychiatric nurse assigned to me, perhaps she's something similar.

A questionnaire is fairly common, although often the doc asks the questions and fills it in, I think the answers give some sort of score of how depressed someone is.  There is NO NEED to feel embarassed as you have an ILLNESS caused by a chemical imbalance, if you had diabetes would you feel embarassed?

It does seem fairly common for the doc to say you may feel worse before you feel better, mine certainly says that, do start on the ADs, they often do take 4 - 6 weeks to take effect and sometimes the dose needs tweaking or a different type prescribing, in my case when I start on ADs the doc sees me pretty regularly for a month or two to make sure everything is working OK then reviews things every 3 months.  I'd simply say if you feel desperately bad at any time go back to the doc straight away.

I cant help with the other question I'm afraid

Ps, yes the clock is way out!

[Zaf]

Sounds like a really nice meal, any chance of posting me a plateful lol
[/quote]

Haha I'm now questioning the desicion of cooking a roast dinner on a hot day....  I did only invite them around because I have a massive leg of lamb though....
[/quote]

Hope it all goes well :)

[cornish]

im sure it will go fine munchroom



im now feeling terrible. just got back from my gp, forgot my phone so didn't have my little nots, didn't say anything i wanted to n just basically got another prescription.

im now hugely paranoid im addicted to diazepam, i know i do actually need it to cope and i can actually not take it some days but i still fear it. this was the main thing i wanted to discuss with my gp and i failed

[Zaf]

Can you get another appointment later in the week?  Its important to discuss things that are worrying you like that.

I have diazapam for my panic attacks and I have the same fear, I try very hard not to take it unless absolutely necessary

[cornish]

i have to go back every 2 weeks so i think ill just wait.

[Zaf]

Late up, crawled out of bed then a fairly positive few hours, now beginning to crash a bit, both energy and mood, at least I have had some positive time today :)

[Munchroom]

I am reeeeeeaally tired and feeling quite drained after yesterday. Can't seem to settle to anything and just feel really fidgety, but I have zero energies to do anything.... I tried going back to bed but felt a bit guilty because the weather is quite nice and then I couldn't really get to sleep.....

*hmpf*

[Pete]

Today I am so mixed up and have so many things going on I have just had to sit down and try and get my head together. The only trouble is I can feel a panic attack or something of the like ( I dont even know if I have actual panic attacks or I am just calling them that lol).

Today I have been awake since 5am ( went to bed around 1am) and I have been rushing around sorting so many things without actually getting anything sorted  

I have managed to limit my concerns to a few today these being:

1) My car
2)The AA ( about my car)
3) My pills



Regarding 1) My car has developed an oil leak. Nothing major by all accounts but this is my car and it  gets me about as I cant walk anywhere due to, well I dont really know but I just know I cant walk down the street alone because I am so fearful of God knows what.

My car developed this ruddy leak Saturday and I called the AA out to see to it. They left me the report of leak from rocker gasket and suspected leak from sump???

I had to wait until Monday to take it to a garage ( halfords recommended by AA) where the bloke basically said hmmm they wont pay for an oil leak. I said wellthey toldme to bring it here so he said ok leave it with me. Long story short AA will not cover leak as they say it is driveable as I took it to garage, they told me to grrrrr    

I took car to 2 other garages today and have bbeen told its camshaft seals. I dunno anything about cars but know that I pay £25 quid a month to the AA to have all this breakdown serice and parts and labour costs for them to say nope unless the car cannot be driven we wont cover you. B**st%&ds!!!!

I'm now looking at a huge bill 25 days before my holiday that i dont wanna go on as I can just forsee huge issues BUT the family really  want to go and as i am the only driver I have no choice as trains would cost a massive amount.

The anger and frustration has driven me today but now I am back home and I need to sit and relax a bit as I am so hyper my head is spinning and I have so many thoughts going on in my head that I am actually dealing with 12 tabs open on the PC with AA websites, car forums, legal answers as well as this forum. Its just all so ruddy crazy but I cant slow down it seems , I feel so hyper like I have had a dozen red bulls.

On to my pills issue.....I was given/prescribed 20mg Citropram or whatever they called on Monday which was only yesterday but seems so long ago now.hmmm

I was planning on starting them today but all night I have been looking into things and they all say that they talle 3-4 weeks to get into the system and its like hell before then as the side effects kick in. I go on holiday and I am the driver from Birmingham to Devon in 25 days. I am not sure I can take the chance of ruining everyones holiday if I start them now and I am suffering side effects when the holiday starts and I am also worried about the diziness etc as I have to drive.

I am getting so panicy ( spelling aint right i'm sure ) about taking them or not taking them its like I'm arguing with myself. Take them you need them, no dont take them as the side effects will stop you going away and everyone will blame you if they cant go , but you have to take them or the way you are will ruin the holiday.....you get the gist.


wow just typing that has tired me out lol.

Today I am feeling a tad more crazy than normal if I can dare use the word normal. Dunno about the word depression the Doctor reckons I have I think nutter is more apt today lol.

hmmmmm i'm rambling now aint I?    time to shut up hehe

[cornish]

words cannot express how low im feeling today and how bad i feel about my self for what i have done this morning.

i haven't managed to move all day. im a failure.


the aa are useless, can you actually see where the oil is coming from, you may need to get a rag and wipe it clean and then run the engine for a few minuets to see where its coming from, if it is only the rocker cover gasket then its a very simple job that if you can wield a spanner and socket set then im sure you could achieve on your own, if its the sump gasket then you would need to drain all the oil and have either ramps or a pit to work on it. i might be able to help with a bit of advice if you let me know make, model and year

as for the meds, my opinion is the sooner your on them then the sooner you will  see an improvement, but i can see where your coming from. just do what you think is right.

[Munchroom]

Pete...  &*(

Cars are... a NIGHTMARE! You don't need me to tell you that though! My OH works in a motor factors locally.... if you like and you type the problem out then I can ask him to have a read through, tell you what it sounds like and what it should be costing you? I know its not a massive help, but what he doesn't know about cars is very very little (he very much a car geek!) Then at least you would have unbiased info that would be pretty straightforward?

As for the AD's... hmm... There are side effects with AD's, they are a drug that works on the chemicals in your mind so they are bound to manifest themselves in all sorts of ways. From what I can gather (and please guys, don't shoot me down in flames if this is wrong!) is that Citalopram is very much a 'starting' drug. I had it when I was first diagnosed and from what I have read, a lot of people have had the same experience. It does work for some and not for others - but they wouldn't prescribe it at all if it didnt work! I made the mistake of reading and obsessing over the leaflet when I had my first packet of pills - but you are not going to get all of those side effects!!!! You may not get any at all! The only side effect I remember with Citalopram was a stiff jaw. It constantly felt like I was tensing my bottom jaw up... its pretty uncomfortable, but its not the end of the world. In the end I came off of them because that was the only effect I noticed - that passed after a week or two but my mood was actually getting worse. Most side effects will pass after the first couple of weeks - and if they don't then you still have almost a month before you go away! Get back to your doctor and tell him (or her...)

xx

[Pete]

Noone is a failure Cornish we are all just a little more susceptbale to making mistakes so dont be too hard on yourself mate  


I have found the leak as the crankshaft seal and its a Vauxhall Omega 2.5 v6 cdx ( you can laugh now as you go ouch thats a job to do) lol

[cornish]

ouch, at least its an omega not a vectra, it would be a lot harder then.

the job is definitely not a diy job unless you know how to do a cam belt.
you need to factor in the cost of the seals and a cam belt change at the same time, so its not going to be cheap   i would say around the 250 - 350 mark, but if i was you i would get the belt kit and the seal my self and then your only paying the garage for labour

im am also a huge car geek and would happily help if i could