Author Topic: How are you feeling today?  (Read 220292 times)

Munchroom

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2145 on: November 26, 2011, 10:56:29 PM »
Cornish - the fact that you can recognise that you are 'going downhill' AND the fact that you have a hill to go down are both positives!! Ok, I know that sounds super cheesy and they definitley dont feel like postives right now, but you are a fighter!! you have got this far and you have opened up and made some fantastic friends on here over the last few months who all care deeply about you. Wednesday will be a big day for you - but we will all be here to support you when its over and I, for one, am really really hoping that they manage to pull some more sessions out of the bag somehow!!

Holykimura - Your job sounds incredibly stresfull. As Zaf said, it is hard to tell whether you are doing the right thing or not and even more so for you because right now you probably just want someone to say 'Right, do X, Y and Z and it will be the best thing for you and your family!' All I can tell you is that I did stay doing a job when I really shouldnt have and got myself so ill. At first, it was feeling a little bit nervous the night before work but putting on a brave face and dealing with it but very quickly it turned into... hell, I'm not gonna lie! I was anxious all the time, on the drive home from work, I was already dreading the next day. I couldn't enjoy doing things at home, I couldn't even enjoy my weekends because the anxiety was ever present (I think the depression had been slowly building for months before this and all of it was just the final straw...) I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat... I spent my lunchtimes in tears not knowing how I was going to cope with the afternoon... I was looking for any way out and could only come up with suicide as an answer - I came very very close to it. To this day, 15 months on, I cannot drive my car because it brings back all the feelings of anxiety... I don't mean to scare you, not at all - and I'm not saying that it will all happen exactly the same way!! But it is not normal to feel as anxious about work as you are describing, you are not being 'picky' at all, its your mind and body going 'Hang on, we're not coping with this... HELP!!'  
One thing i would suggest is applying for jobs in areas which you enjoy - or in areas that test you physically. I never really did anything in my garden before all of this - but I have found gardening to be a fantastic form of therapy! You can lose yourself for hours... Whatever you do, don't apply for any old job just to get yourself out of this one, you may be jumping out of the preverbial frying pan!

Alstare, you have had a really good evening by the sounds of it and its wonderful that you can have evenings like that. You are bound to be feeling a little down and tearful because that is what the depression does! It is so cruel like that.... but, as hard as it may be, try and focus on the positives  :) You have had what sounds like a great evening, eaten something and have probably been great company, you are tired now but that is to be expected. I hope you'll sleep well tonight.

Zaf - Are you back from your few days away? How was it??

Lol - Thinking of you - just keep focusing on that holiday and all the mischief that you will be getting upto!!



I've been ok today... I've managed to dye my hair and make my christmas cake, which is what I set out to do, so thats good. Am very very tired now though - looking forward to my bed and hoping I still feel like I'm either just above the water or leaping out of it tomorrow morning!! Fingers crossed!!
This too shall pass.

Alstare1974

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2146 on: November 26, 2011, 11:08:35 PM »
Thanks Munch. I'm also feeling a bit on edge as I didn't sleep all day today so am out of my usual routine. I was awake until half 6 this morning and I've had two naps all day. I'm trying to get a normal routine back. It's really hard.

Munchroom

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2147 on: November 26, 2011, 11:21:14 PM »
What sleeping medication, if any, are you on Alstare? (If you don't mind me asking) x
This too shall pass.

Alstare1974

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2148 on: November 26, 2011, 11:27:17 PM »
They technically wont give me any but I still have some zopiclone left that I take off and on.

Munchroom

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2149 on: November 26, 2011, 11:35:19 PM »
Hmmm... maybe if they gave you some it might help to regulate you sleeping pattern more? I understand the reasons for then not allowing you to have any, but surely you would be allowed a small supply that wouldnt be able to actually do any harm? Might just be the helping hand you need to beat this sleeping patern problem?

I've never tried zopiclone and I dont't know how it works, but my doctor told me (and it seems so logical so forgive me if I'm seemingly telling you that the sky is blue!) to take any sleeping or sedative medication 12 hours before you want to wake up! Just a tip  ;) x
This too shall pass.

Alstare1974

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2150 on: November 26, 2011, 11:42:58 PM »
Thanks. I'm not allowed any cos they're addictive and I was on them for 6 months before managing to kick them. So I guess he doesn't want me to get addicted again. I have asked though.

Feeling bit like I don't want to go on existing tonight. Fed up with the pain.

Munchroom

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2151 on: November 26, 2011, 11:53:29 PM »
I suspect your mind is just overtired after the evening you have had..... keep talking if you can't sleep. What did you and your friends have for dinner? x
This too shall pass.

Alstare1974

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2152 on: November 26, 2011, 11:57:52 PM »
We had a cheese fondue. Family speciality and an old recipe. Was lovely.

Munchroom

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2153 on: November 27, 2011, 12:06:28 AM »
Mmmmmmm I love cheese! Cheese, fresh bread and red wine, I'm in heaven!! Chris has a bigger weakness for cheese than I do, with a lot of things I make the conversation goes something like this....

Chris:  'Does it have cheese in'
Me: 'No my love'
Chris: 'Oh.... Can we have cheese with it then?'

 ::) :P x
This too shall pass.

Zaf

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2154 on: November 27, 2011, 12:13:11 AM »
Holykimura, if you enjoy teaching but not this particular job is it not possible to move to a different school or another job that involves teaching?  Your partner is spot on advising you to keep any evidence in case you need to claim construtive dismissal.

Munchroom, glad you have ad a better day today :)   I'm still on holiday but pop in when I have a signal!  Its been great to get away or a bit, but not looking forward to going home tomorrow

I think of you as a friend too cornish, hope Wednesday goes wel xx

Not sure if I can say anything to help Alstare but thinking of you too xx



Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

Zaf

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2155 on: November 27, 2011, 12:28:57 AM »
Rather stupidly I slept for a few hours this afternoon  but I'm at last feeling sleepy so wil say goodnight :)
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.

cornish

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2156 on: November 27, 2011, 01:21:56 AM »
thanks i see you as friends too. really not with it at the moment, spending a lot of time thinking about, well everything. having meds that knock me out is making me think a lot about an od, cant concentrate on anything and my anxiety levels are way though the roof, weighting up options thinking a lot.
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

Alstare1974

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2157 on: November 27, 2011, 01:32:26 AM »
Weghing up options sounds a bit ominous.

cornish

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2158 on: November 27, 2011, 02:12:51 AM »
Weghing up options sounds a bit ominous.
:-\      !£$     :-\     :-X
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

Zaf

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Re: How are you feeling today?
« Reply #2159 on: November 27, 2011, 06:34:45 AM »
Dont give up cornish, we are here for you xx






After one night of proper sleep I barely slept a wink last night which is disappointing to say he least,   feel grotty and not looking forward to packing up and going home  :(
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart.