how can it stop?

[geogroom]

I've suffered from whatever it is since i was in my early teens and now it seems to be getting worse and worse. I'm only 19 and have been prescribed medication but it hasn't affected me one bit. There's no definitive reason i can think of why i feel like this and it's driving me crazy the worry i'm putting on my mum especially, my boyfriend and my closest friends. I can't really explain but it makes me feel better to harm myself but i can't stand what it does to others, what should i do?     

[Munchroom]

Hi Geogroom

I think one of the most frustrating things about my own depression is trying to figure out what even triggered it. I can't pinpoint one thing but I know for months before I was 'diagnosed' and had a complete breakdown that I was just really really unhappy - and so unhappy about being unhappy for so long, it seemed like there was no let up! But I have/had no 'real' reason - good friends, great boyfriend, job, car, house etc.... I have come to a conclusion (on my good and lucid days!) that there are two types of depression - the type brought on by a stressful event and the type brought on by a natural chemical imbalance in the brain, and as frustrating as that is and as much as you or I can beat ourselves up about having a brain that decides to go and gets its chemical levels all mixed up! Its one of the few things that keeps me sane... its some sort of answer.

It sounds like you are seeking help though and that is good - please give meds time to work, you don't mention how long you have been on them, but they can take weeks to really have any effect, so if that is the case then please hang on in there, when they DO kick in, it'll be worth it!

As for the worry on others... Its so hard, there are times when I want to take myself away from everyone I love just so I can't cause them worry anymore, but they love you and as I'm sure you know yourself, if you love someone you will go through hell for them! My mum told me once when I was at my lowest and so upset about the worry and stress I was causing everyone else that everyone has a time in their lives when they need to be the one who is looked after. You will get through this and then someone else will be in a situation when you need to look out for them and be strong for them, its the natural order of things. I don't know if that thought will help you or not - but it certainly helped me when I really was at the point of not knowing if I could carry on fighting this.

I wish you the very best - you sound like you have a good support network around you and I'm sure with their help you will get through this.

Nay xx

[geogroom]

Thanks for the response,I am actually feeling a bit better now, i've only been on the meds for a month and i'm defiantly feeling in a position where my mum will stop pushing me to take counciling.

Thanks a lot nay X

[Munchroom]

No problem  :) Pleased you are feeling a bit better x