...is it OK to talk about eating out of boredom and/or grief OK to talk about here or would it be too triggering?
If you don't want to read any more about my question that's totally OK and I'll leave a spoiler space here just in case
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I've noticed recently, since we lost my hubby at Yule 2022 that my eating has gotten out of control. I get a carer in 6 days a week but because English isn't their first language and I don't know any of their language, I only get 10 minutes of actual support (after they've signed in and put their PPE on and the same in reverse at the end of the slot instead of the 30 minutes I pay for because they say that I make them late if they stay for more than 20) I'm very limited on what I can ask them to make so it ended up being just a bowl of baked beans or a tin of spaghetti at the start of the year then salads when the weather started to warm up a bit. My lunch is usually under 300 calories and my breakfast under 400 so I need getting on for 1,000 extra calories a day.
I've found a packet of me-friendly crisps that I can have but I rely waay too heavily on chocolate and crisps to get my calorie count up to where it should be and I realised this afternoon that I was eating because I was bored rather than hungry 'cos I got through about 200g of peanut brittle which I told myself was because I was almost 1000 short to hit the minimum... but maybe it's boredom/grief too?
I don't think it's an eating disorder yet, but I don't think I'm too far off it starting to become that.
I'm right in the middle of the right weight range for my height which is where I wanna stay, but could the eating sweet treats like the peanut brittle and chocolate peanuts and chocolate raisins and treat-sized bars of chocolate be sending me towards an eating disorder or is it normal to rely so heavily on sweet things to get you through the boredom of living alone and the grief of being a 45 year old Yule widow?
I know you're not medical bods and you can't diagnose me, but at the same time I don't want to waste the time of my wonderful GP if it really could just be boredom/grief.
What do you all think I should do please?
