https://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/dianas-agonising-decision-treat-lesser-22359410?utm_source=mirror_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=RoyalNews1&utm_campaign=royals_newsletter&ccid=2369561Diana's agonising decision to treat 'lesser' Prince Harry and William 'unequally'
Princess Diana worked hard to ensure her sons were treated the same but was 'forced to give more love to one Prince because of senior royals'
By Kyle O'Sullivan Senior TV Reporter
17:00, 15 JUL 2020Updated09:23, 16 JUL 2020
Princess Diana wanted both of her sons to be treated equally despite their very different positions. The People's Princess worked hard to ensure that Prince Harry was given as many of the same opportunities that were afforded to his older brother. She tried to make their upbringing as 'normal' as it could possibly be, telling palace staff to only call them by their first names and not "prince" or "your royal highness". Prince Charles was very much in agreement that William and Harry should have similar upbringings, but other members of the family did not agree. With senior members of the royal family reportedly wanting all effort to be put into William, the future king, his mother was forced to make an agonising decision. Although she adored both of her sons, Diana felt that William had been marked from birth for 'special attention' and felt the need to compensate. "Prince Charles shared Diana's concerns about making sure the boys shared things in their early years," said royal commentator Richard Kay in Channel 5 documentary Prince Harry: The Troubled Prince.
"But certainly more senior members of the royal family in private were saying: 'This is nonsense. William is the future. All our efforts must go into educating William'. It was William the Queen would invite for lessons in kingship when he was at Eton and she was at Windsor Castle."
While being close to both of her "special boys", this pushed Diana to give more "love and attention" into Harry. "As compensation, Diana poured more love and attention into Harry," Kay wrote in the Daily Mail in 2018.
The journalist, who was close with Diana, claims she told him: "I have to. Charles and I worked so hard to ensure both boys receive equal amounts of our time and love, but others in the family seem to concentrate on William."
It is not known who the "others" she is referring to are specifically, but there were tensions with the Queen Mother over her alleged favouritism. Kay says Diana once told him how she had confronted the Queen Mother over how she treated the boys differently. And a young Prince Harry complained to his mother about their great-grandmother's closer relationship with William. "One day she told me how matters had come to a head with the Queen Mother," wrote Kay.
"Harry had complained that whenever he and William visited their great-grandmother at Clarence House, it was always William she made a fuss over and who sat next to her. 'It's not fair,' Harry told his mother."
It's claimed Harry was treated drastically differently to his brother by their great-grandmother, who had a much more personal relationship with William. "He was always less than his brother," admits royal biographer Angela Lewin in the Channel 5 documentary.
"The late Queen Mother would always invite Prince William over for tea and talk to him about his future and not invite Prince Harry."
Richard Kay adds: "The Queen Mother always made sure Prince William was seated in a prominent seat next to her and Harry never was."
However, the Queen Mother actually left more money to Harry when she sadly passed away in 2002. An estimated £14 million from her estate to her great-grandsons, but Harry was reportedly left more than his older brother. Rather than being down to any personal preference, the decision was made because William would benefit financially from becoming king. Therefore, the Queen Mother compensated for this by leaving a larger share of her wealth to Harry. Even as children, the two princes were well aware that they were destined for many different paths in life. At the age of just four-years-old, Harry made a shocking outburst at his brother that would demonstrate the inner turmoil that he was facing as a very young child. The family was travelling from London to Gloucester during a weekend over thirty years ago when the two boys started squabbling. The incident was overheard by Ken Wharfe, a long-serving protection officer to the royals, who was dismayed by what he heard. "Diana would always take the two boys to High Grove in Gloucestershire," explains Ken.
"On this particular occasion Diana was driving, I was sat in the front, William and Harry in the back. They’d clearly got off to a bad start because they were arguing before we’d even left."
Their nanny had to act as a referee while the boys argued in the back seats of the car. Ken explains: "Harry out of nowhere said: 'William, one day you’ll be king, I won’t, it doesn’t matter therefore I can do what I like'."
Princess Diana was said to be stunned by the remark and questioned where Harry had got it from. Delving into the meaning behind the controversial comment, Richard Kay admits there are two very different ways of viewing it. He says: "You can take that comment two ways. It may indicate envy if you like that William got this great future as king. But also there's an element of: 'I’m free I’m going to choose my own role in life'."
The documentary also looks at how the very public marriage breakdown of the marriage of Harry's parents affected him. Charles and Diana separated in 1992, with details of their marital difficulties and affairs being aired in public. Angela Lewin says: "For the children to hear both parents come on television at separate times to admit to having affairs and say how unhappy they were, with both kids at boarding school, can you imagine how cringe-worthy it must have been for them. Highly embarrassing. Not very secure."
Prince Harry found it difficult being shared between parents without a permanent home, living at Kensington Palace with Diana, then Clarence, and High Grove with Charles. He faced very unique challenges as a young royal, which were very different from those that his older brother experienced. "On paper, Prince Harry start in life was incredibly privileged and lucky," says broadcaster Daisy McAndrew.
"But in reality being born as the younger brother of the future king of England is a very difficult position to be born into. They are known rather unkindly as the spare."
While the young princes were aware of their unequal positions, both their parents wanted to raise them in the same way. "I think being the spare to the heir is a role that inherently has problems attached with it," says Katie Nicholl, a royal correspondent at Vanity Fair.
"Prince William's role has always been defined. What he’s going to do has always been clearly outlined. Harry, like spares historically in the royal family, has had to find a role for himself."
