General > I need to vent!
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lostmyway:
Hi
Just letting everybody know how things are. Sadly, they are no better; my 80 something mother drives me nuts, I have no real friends or job (still) and feel I have reached the end of my tether; it feels real this time, not just metaphorically. I am tired of trying and nothing leads to anything, over and over again, who in their right mind could tolerate such a situation? I am not a young guy either, so it actually feels worse. I can feel the symptoms getting worse: the stress levels, the anxiety, the depression... It's because the triggers are still there that set it off. I realise that none of this is new, so I have to deal with it, one way or the other... the problem is, I don't know how to.
Amanda_George:
You did the right thing by reaching out, Lost. I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time right now. Do you trust your GP? Do you have a CPN or psychologist you can make an appointment to go and see? They really can help if you let them know you need their support and your GP might have ideas for ways to support you and your mum... could you ask about getting a carer in for her or anything like that maybe? You need support and it sounds like you've been left in the lurch unfortunately.
Pip:
lostmyway, it is no surprise that you are at the end of your tether and just becasue it's still the same things that are dragging you down doesn't mean you don't deserve the same support as other people. I went 23 years of silence as I didn't understand I was suffering with severe depression - I suffered with depression from about 12 - 13 years old but didn't realize I did. Fifteen years ago I completely broke down but did the right thing of going to my GP after a friend urged me to go. Although I have learned coping mechanisms I still have my bad periods but fortunately I have friends I can reach out to that have had similar life experiences to me. It's okay to reach out at times although it may help to post more often, we are here to be supportive.
lostmyway:
@Amanda_George
Firstly, it's not really talk therapy, CBT and so on that I truly need, it is a job and independence and a need for personal space and privacy which all of that can bring, and obviously some kinda place of my own. Since my 20s I feel that I have just meandered throughout life, which sounds vague and just a generalised statement; now it is feeling that is all too late to do anything about it, I have missed the boat. I refuse to believe however, that it's all my fault, as that logical statement doesn't make any sense.
@Pip
Sorry that you have been through all of that in your life. I don't have all that many people in my life that I can relate to, is just a fact of life. I could try my mother, but she doesn't really understand depression and things of that nature, even though she does try to , I will giver her that. I had a relapse around 19, and it has been coming back since then. I feel all there is are barriers preventing me from doing the right things to progress in life and be successful. I know that this sounds a bit like a rant, but this is how it is as I see it. Everything (well, almost) revolves around the necessity of having an income to do things, and I guess that has somehow prevented me from doing so. It's not that much better now either. I will try to send more updates and post more... regards.
Amanda_George:
--- Quote from: lostmyway on September 01, 2019, 08:37:45 PM ---@Amanda_George
Firstly, it's not really talk therapy, CBT and so on that I truly need, it is a job and independence and a need for personal space and privacy which all of that can bring, and obviously some kinda place of my own. Since my 20s I feel that I have just meandered throughout life, which sounds vague and just a generalised statement; now it is feeling that is all too late to do anything about it, I have missed the boat. I refuse to believe however, that it's all my fault, as that logical statement doesn't make any sense.
--- End quote ---
How about taking some online courses in things your passionate about? It'll show potential future employers that you are looking to keep up with current trends and stuff. There are a few free courses on OpenLearn from the Open University and there's Alison which gives you taster courses for free that you could put on your CV.
What sort of jobs are you applying for? Is it something you can do online and put on a webpage or anything like that? Something you can do with no pressure, but when the dreaded interview question ("what have you been doing since you left your last job?") comes up, you can say "I've learnt how to create homepages, you can see mine at abc.xyz and I've been taking online courses to keep my knowledge up to date" etc etc which will hopefully create a better impression than saying you've been too ill to work or whatever. By all means say that you've been ill but say that you're fully recovered now and eager to get back into the workforce, then you can produce the URL with your courses you've taken.
How would you feel about volunteering in your local community for a few days a week? That looks good in interviews too. Be really positive but totally honest, just try and focus on the positive things you've done to overcome the not so positive things you've been and are currently going through. Turn their negativity into the positive things you've achieved.
I haven't worked in over 20 years but I've got 60 courses that I've taken and books I've written as well as 3 websites I've learnt to code by hand that I can talk about when they bring up my 20 years of unemployment. One of the courses I've taken is about CV writing and interview techniques that might help you too?
It's never too late until you take your final breath, you just need to learn to rephrase questions from interviewers ;)
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