Realisation

[Amanda_George]

I am already with the open university on my 2nd level 2 module.  The module im doing is very dull and i'm hoping it'll get more interesting.  If i want a Bsc i have to do Level 3.   I was very enthusiastic about the whole thing back in 2013. Now I'm not so sure.

Oh cool!  What are you aiming for the Bsc to be in... is it a named one or an open one?

[Pip]

It's definitely worth keeping up with it as you never know how this qualification will help you in the future.

[jali]

Life has a way of kicking you when you're down, I understand, i'm younger then you 32, but i feel I know where you're coming from, when i graduated from university i thought the employers would be climbing over themselves to get at me, boy was i in for a rude awakening, the employers didn't give a damn about that piece of paper a spent 3 years of my life working towards, the amount of rejections I got were shocking, some were even insulted me,

i too would go on to spend weeks where i wouldn't leave the house, looking back on it that's probably the worst thing i could have done, i put on weight and BOOM depression had snatched up another victim, family would pester me about not having a job, but god knows, i tried, eventually things got better, I landed jobs,i started exercising and lost the weight,

if i were to give you any advice it it would be, try to do as many positive things through out the day, it doesn't have to be big, it could be something as simple as making your bed, or vacuuming, or applying to some jobs, try going for a short walk, it'll clear your head, 45 isn't that old, you can do it if you set your mind to it

[lostmyway]

Hi Jali

Thanks for your advice, it's appreciated.  The preconception is that if you have higher education, you can waltz straight into a job as soon as you graduate.. Thats definitely not the case.
The real world is very harsh and there's no room for dreamers of any kind. Since I have been off I have also gained weight and become  more unhealthy. 

Mostly when it came to jobs, I just got no replay.  Families I can say without fear of contradiction are NOT supportive if you don't have a job and just compound the situation further.  The only person that has cared at all , is my mother (she's the exception to the rule.)  But if you have depression and have low self-worth , down on your luck... most people just don't want to know.
It's the way of the world.

Lately I have been getting up later than usual, sleeping longer than usual .  Mostly down to the cold and reduced amount of sunlight that there is at this time of the year.  Christmas is just a hard time for me and my mother.  My brother lives in the states and my dad passed away in 2005.   I see stuff on Facebook from members of my own family, having xmas dinner together in bigger groups and I couldnt help but think that no-one really cares about our situation - no sympathy or compassion ... just me, me, me.  Life indeed does have a knack of kicking you when you're down, I wish it didn't.   They say a degree is 'just a bit of paper' but its far, far more than just that to me.  It represents years of blood, sweat and tears.