What's the point????

[Bubblemama]

Hi,

Sorry if I rant on a bit. I need to get this out and this is really the only place I can do this.

I'm so fed up with everything at the moment that its hard to see the point of things anymore. I have had depression on and off for 12 years now. Last year I hit rock bottom but with the right help and support I got better. It has been a struggle to keep on top of things but I have managed it. But now I get that ever so familiar feeling of being fed up and finding the point in things!

My husband and I both work full time, have 2 children and an alright lifestyle. Recently, I started working longer hours with the support of my husband in the agreement that when we have some time off together we make it count and spend it doing things together,quality time if you like.

Well yet again another weekend off has come round and either i'm too tired or he's too tired to even bother. It's getting seriously frustrating!!! I have a very high pressured job which sees me working either very early in the morning or very late at night and I long for my days off!!! But when it comes to our days off I am just so disappointed that they get wasted and before I know it we are back at work and becoming passing ships in the night again.

I am now sitting downstairs typing this and sobbing whilst he's upstairs fast asleep having missed the end of the film that we were supposed to be having a cuddle and watching together. I end up losing my temper and shouting which in turn causes an argument and ruins everything. I am just so fed up. I feel we may as well just work constantly and be passing ships, that way we wouldn't have to even think about making an effort.

I am so sorry for ranting on. Just needed to get this off my chest

Thank you x

[Pip]

Sending cyber hugs 

I know this will be easy for to say as someone being on the outside looking in but I do understand form personal experience.

You are both working hard to have a 'better way of life' / be able to have 'luxuries' when you can afford them but the knock on effect is that it's affecting your personal life.  It's not surprising that you feel tired, losing your temper and having arguments.  I think your husband needs to sit down and really listen to you if he hasn't already. 

I know it's nice to be better off financially but the point was so that you could have good quality time together.  This isn't happening because you're tired.  A number of years ago my husband and I went through a similar thing and in the end we had to cut back on our hours for our own sanity.