Hi loulou and mich,
Yeah - de-realisation as it applies to me is that alot of the time I feel apart from the world around me. Like now I am typing but my hands do not seem my own! (I am only on prescription drugs btw). I can sit and hold my wife's hand and stare down at my hand holding hers, but it's a as if it is not me, and unless I concentrate or squeeze hard I do not feel much. My wife is often telling me off becaiues i am overly tactile - i guess i try to overcompensate for my lack of feeling any interaction with what is going on around me. Whilst driving the car or out walking everything is 'flat' and has no depth. I look at people and hate and resent them for being able to get on and have a life. I can almost see the bubble that surrounds me sometimes, and I make myself run into walls just to try and convince myself that I am indeed alive. I stabbed my self in the arm with pens quite regularly to achieve the same effect of just being able to feel. I spend my life trying to reach out, and I just cannot get enough hugs (very macho!). We are renovating a house at the moment, but I cannot do much as my diy usually ends up with me injuring myself - I tend to be rather accident prone, as I drift off sometimes. Hope that explains it a bit.
