I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia about a year ago. It came as a bit of a shock. At first it was a ridiculous idea, as far as I was aware, Agoraphobia meant never being able to cross over the threshold of your property. A little research later, I soon realised the Psychiatrist was spot on. I am your typical agoraphobic but I do hide it from everyone, it's my "S.M.H.I." (Secret Mental Health Issue!!!!). Maybe at times I've ran out of excuses for not being able to do things, but I've never confessed to it being due to a MH condition. In fact, how could I? I had been living with it for years without realising what it was
I haven't left Wandsworth in London for 13 years, I can't travel on confined transport like trains and planes and have very much missed visiting Scotland in all this time. If I really need to, I will travel on local buses but have been known to press the emergency button on the bus door and alight whenever my phobias have reached the point of strangulation.
Recently I wrote of the difficulties I had with hospital appointments and how no room was made for someone like me, freaking out to the point of either fainting or hyperventilating. We're not looking for preferential treatment, only a little sensitivity to know we are suffering while sitting for hours on end in busy hospital waiting rooms, and usually most of the other patients talking in foreign languages, it's easy to mistake it for another country, which doesn't help my 2hr-need-to-be-home issue.
I'm currently neglecting my health needs because I cannot face the whole set-up. I need to visit the GP next week but I'm dreading it. He will see it more as wasting hospital time. Somehow they think because the appointments are important, I'll be able to wave a magic Cat-wand and the phobias are all tucked away for the day. It's a case of, if you want the treatment bad enough, you'll willingly undergo the torture
Like Zaf, I describe mine as "selective Agoraphobia", but I think many others do too. It seems agoraphobics can do some things but not others. I can go to Asda but only if I'm not depressed and I go through the doors at midday, because staff and some customers are familiar. If I visit a public place, like pub or café, I spend most of my time feeling completely paranoid that the staff want us to leave. Rather than enjoy the company of whoever I'm with, my eyes and brain are all over the place.
And lastly, but not least, it's been many years since I've been away from home for more than 2-3 hrs. The norm would be 2 hrs with rare exceptions of 3. I start to get completely bamboozled by people talking and bumping into my space, the sweats and dry mouth with darting eyes focussing on every potential threat, then make it impossible to look even half normal, so the paranoia kicks in and I find myself almost running in the direction of home!!
I think this section on Agoraphobia is an excellent idea as I do believe more people suffer from this condition than they actually realise themselves. I also hope by talking we might find little steps forward to being able to beat this 'mother'!!
