You stay strong too, Fred. One of the worst aspects of depression, for me, is that it isolates one so terribly. I'm lucky to have loving friends who are very supportive but I try not to tax their patience too much with my feelings of woe. Sometimes I'll pretend I'm feeling OK in front of them when I'm feeling anything but. My latest spell only started up a few weeks ago when I realised my relationship was on the rocks. I'm seeing how it goes before I seek medical help. I'd rather not go down the medication road but I might consider counselling. Though in Tory Britain I'm sure a lot of those NHS services have been slashed to bits.
It helps me a lot to come on this forum and summon the confidence to express my feelings. It feels positive to communicate with others who are going through their own private hells. And it also feels good to think that something I might write may make someone out there feel a little bit better about their own situation for a short time.
My own depression is periodic and, as I have mentioned elsewhere, is invariably triggered by relationship break-up. I know these terrible feelings will eventually pass. While I'm feeling depressed, I've learned from past experience to seize on any moment of fleeting pleasure and cherish it. That fleeting moment is, for me, a crucial reminder of what it feels like not to be depressed, and a sign to me that peace of mind will eventually return and be a near constant in my life once again. I even managed a laugh earlier as I watched my elderly spaniel attempt to chase a cow across a field. The cow eventually stopped, stared my spaniel out, and my spaniel admitted defeat and slouched back to me. Just a simple moment like that is a reminder that life can be about light. For that moment, light was winning over the darkness. Here's to more light. Cheers, Jon
