I am scared!!

[bookletters]

Re, last night's post:
"33 days into crossing over from citalopram to venlafaxin. Venlafaxin has helped me massively with my sleep, eating etc...
However my last stage of getting rid of citalopram made me feel pretty cr*p. Doc reassured me and said it's normal and it will start picking up again. It did, pfew, thank God.
However, this week, a week after completely getting rid of citalopram and not having a venlafaxin increase I have been having trouble with my sleep a bit again and today my appetite was affected. My mood was really crap yesterday and a bit crap today. This is totally freaking me out. I was doing so well on venlafaxin, why, since dropping citalopram has my depression got a bit worse?? Does it mean 75mg venlafaxin is not enough for me? Is that bad? Does it mean I am going to need an increase of venlafaxin every month??????!
A bit freaked out, I know it is the depression making me worry but still.... off to see doc tomorrow.
Anybody else been through similar situation?"

So doc is increasing venlafaxin but I am really worried as I don't understand why after progressing so well since crossover I am now getting worse again! Doc needs meds need time to go into your system and it's normal but I just feel scared and worried. Do you think I will be able to recover?? The depression is making me think that my case is really bad

[Sweetpea]

 %^% Bookletters, you will get better, its just going to take time for the Venlavaxine to work.  I understand your fear, this illness is awful, and unfortunately the meds take a while to work.

S x x x x

[bookletters]

Thank you so much Shaz you always have such comforting words!
I have managed to sleep for a couple of hours and it did me the world of good. I think I am still withdrawing from citalopram (jittery sleep, anxiety....) and my brain is having a bit of a tough time adjusting but I'll get there. I am really pleased I was able to sleep "naturally" this afternoon and am looking forward to taking my double 37.5 tonight!
XXX

[Sweetpea]

So pleased to hear you managed a couple of hours sleep, hopefully the increase will help.  Just give it time, i know its hard  %^%.

S x x x x

[bookletters]

Thank you Shaz. I find it even more tough as I was progressing really nicely so this setback is tough. I need to remember what the GP said though and venlafaxin needs more time to get into my system + it's totally normal with depression to have ups and down and it doesn't mean you aren't getting better.
I hate worrying that I am going to be stuck like this but I need to remember I've always got better even when I thought I wouldn't. It's tough though grr!

[PaulaJo]

It can be very tough. It is so dispiriting when we have been doing well, to then feel like we are slipping.
Try to not let it alarm you (I know, that's rich coming from me, haha!) and remember to be kind to yourself always, but especially through this phase.
I have often felt hopeless, like Will I ever be better? Will I always be ill?
That fear is understandable, don't let it scare you.
You are being very brave, don't beat yourself up!
((hugs))

[Buttercup]

Hi

I wonder if the citalopram was doing something for you, it is meant to be quite good for anxiety so it may have been helping a little. It will be out of your system now but the venaflaxin won't be working fully yet.

Try not to worry.

Xxx

[bookletters]

Thank you so much people, it really, really helps me to hear this.

I have done all my dispatches for the business and trying to use CBT principles and praise myself for doing them all. There were £36 worth of Royal Mail postage so that tells me how much I had to wrap up and dispatch knowing the vast majority were £1.20!!

Normally, I would have no reason for praising myself for doing "so little" with my day but with what I am going through I think I can be proud of myself so I am trying to be (not easy when you're feeling like this!!!).

After the dispatches, I went for a nice drive (driving takes my mind off things a bit for some reason). I had a good cry in the car lol, then I went to buy myself my favourite sparkling water and a big nice bunch for pink and white flowers (CBT again! Trying to add "pleasurable" activities to my day).

Here I am back home, I have cleaned the kitchen, written into my CBT exercise book, the flowers look beautiful on the window seel next to the cat who doesn't seem impressed by the room they are taking!!!

I feel tearful but in a kind of "once you've cried you feel" better sort of way. I am trying to tell myself in one month I have gone from the maximum dose of citalopram (that I had been on for months) to 0 citalopram + a fairly low dose of venlafaxin so that's bound to make my brain feel a bit weird right?!

I hate feeling like my case is really bad and I am going to be stuck like this forever etc etc but as Paula Jo said, it does go away eventually so hopefully it will for me too :s

[Leo]

It's good to hear you putting your CBT skills into action.

Definately, I came off Citalopram within 5 days had two days with nothing, then started on Venlafaxine 75mg.
Had a over a month of side effects and feeling rotten, increase to 150mg was still feeling suicidal after a week so was increased to 225mg.

It's a new drug, it might take a little while to find the right dosage for you, but things will improve.

 %^%

[Sweetpea]

How are you Book letters? Hope you are OK.

S x x x x

[stemcell]

Sometimes if I find it hard to sleep I 'll have a mug of warmmilk with a bit of honey... it works for babies.... =+-

[Leo]

How are you doing book? Haven't seen you on here for a little while. Hope you are ok x