I have been diagnosed as having OCD or pure o as she said!

[Pete]

I have found that the buddhist meditation I do helps but at times it's just too much to handle. 

I find the "busy mind" times control matters right now but hopefully in time.......

[Got]

Yep, mindfulness, CBT, and medication if need be.

[Pete]

I know that I will be in control again because well I have had this forever infact I can't recall a time when I wasn't like this. I actually thought it was normal and everyone was like this. I accepted I may have a bit more imagination as some but never ever that I had an illness. That is the hardest thing to accept infact I have gone over this soooo many times and even now I sometimes think nope they are wrong I am fine but others I know that I need help as its never been like this. Never so intense, never so vivid and never so colourful and demanding if that makes any sense at all.

I know that the death of my sister triggered it or at least triggered the severity of it all. I hope that in time as the grief settles so will the rest.

Will it ever go away completely or is this for life? I guess as its ways been here it always will be?

I just feel that this last two years life has fallen apart.