Hi
These stories resonate soo much with my own experience and highlights how employers need to recognise and respond to what it a very common illness. The sad thing is that, whilst we tell ourselves at the time that we are no good and incompetent at everything and each day can represent an uphill battle just to get through the front door, let alone do any work, our colleagues and managers often are totally unaware that anything is wrong - until we hit breaking point and can't go on.
Since 2006 I've been finding myself in a revolving door of jobs where I start one, feel happy and confident for a while but that gradually fades as I become more and more anxious that I may not be doing my job well and will be fired for being an incompetent idiot. I feel I have to do everything perfectly and am extremely sensitive to any form of potential criticism. This builds to the point of totally taking over my life and gets me into a total state of worry and panic. This results in me being unable to go into work, being signed off sick and leaving ..... patching myself together and then the whole process starts again!
Disclosing depression to your employer is so difficult. Aside from the feelings of shame and inadequacy, I worry that if I admit to depression I will never be able to work again. I work in university research and (even in medical schools!!) the attitude is often that depression is a personal weakness of those who 'can't hack the pace of academia'. I hear people talking like this alot, not knowing that I suffer from depression, and this only fuels my panic and anxiety. People who really should know better!
My advice, for what it is worth: Always try and have a discussion with your employer about your depression early on and when you are feeling strong (i.e. before the point where the black dog is sitting on your shoulder). Explain the type of depression you have, your main symptoms and how you seek to manage it. Remember:
FACT 1 - Depression is a recognised illness. It isn't just being down in the dumps or 'a bit low'. You have rights that your employer MUST respect!
FACT 2 - depression is NOT your fault. Usually, it started either before we were born (through genetic make up) and/or through our early childhood experiences - both of these are beyond your ability to control. Carrying on with work is great if you can, but equally we would not expect someone with a broken leg to limp in through the office door at 9am with a smile on their face, neither would we blame them for having weak bones, so why should it be any different if we have a haywire head?
FACT 3 - people with depression are often creative and intelligent individuals and therefore make a valuable contribution to any employer. You are a gift, so seek out employers who are likely to understand what depression is. Finding the right work environment where you feel able to disclose your depression and talk about freely with colleagues is key to staying healthy and maintaining work.
Hope this helps! Wish I could always follow my own advice!!! Take care
