Dont understand whats happening to me.

[niz]

 Hi,I have been diagnosed with depression about 3 months ago.It started with me feeling really low at times where i did not want to be around anyone and i was getting really short fused with people.I had been thinking about finances,my job,family issues amongst other things and i think everything just got on top of me and one day something in my head just went and i have not been the same since.I started struggling to cope in work and my wife ended up telling me it was time to seek help so i went to my local g.p.
I talked to my g.p and went to see him a couple of times and then decided to go down the route of medication and counciling,I have now been taking cilitopram 20mg for 2 months and it seems to have helped me cope with getting on with my everyday routine but i still have very low days and at times they are worse than ever,I wake up very exhausted and end up with really bad headaches and feeling like crap.Today i went to my first visit to a psycoligical wellbeing practioner,I didnt know what to expect but I left there feeling so confused and very low,If anything the worst i have felt in a long time.I did not understand what was being said to me and now i am left feeling that there is something badly wrong with me and nobody is going to be able to help,I have still booked another session with the practioner but I really dont get how they will help.I feel like i am constantly going from one person to another and not getting anywhere,In the meantime my head is pounding and I seem to be having bad days more than good,some days I feel great but then I know they are normally followed by terrible days after.I dont know if or what good me putting this on here will do but I am running out of ideas of what help i can get.

[Ezel]

 +_+ Nix, it would be a good idea to go to your GP and tell him or her how you are feeling now.  The GP may increase the citalopram up to 40mg to see if that makes any difference.  With depression the first medication may not help but it is worth persevering.  I have been taking Amitriptyline for pain relieve as it works on the nerves but it is better known for depression.  It stopped working so in turn I started getting very depressed because of the pain so it was a vicious circle.  I'm now taking other pain relieve which is helping to ease the pain and the Amitriptyline is now working. 

[Zaf]

Its definitely worth speaking to your doctor niz xxx

[Sweetpea]

Hello and welcome  +-_ to the forum, I agree I think it would be a good idea to have a further chat with your dr. Not all anti-depressants work for each person, it took several to find the one which worked for me.  Take care.

S x x x x

[Michael Frankum]

Hi Niz. Like the others have said, it's important to let the doc know how you feel. The forums are a good safe place to explore ideas and sometimes vent any anger in a supportive helpful environment. Best wishes.

[niz]

Thanks for all your comments,looks obvious what i need to do then,booked in at my g.p tommorow (thurs),woke this morning feeling like crap again and have a full day of work ahead,so looks like im going to have to ride out the next 8 hours,thanks again everyone!

[niz]

Well I went to my gp and he seems to think i should just stick with the meds i am on for now as well as stick with the counciling.I have to admit that although i am coping better i am having some really low times worse thann ever,nearly bringing me to tears at times.Work is also a bit of a struggle at times and I just feel so drained from the way i feel.The headaches still come with a vengance and take a good day or to to go,I am starting to feel like I am being pushed from pillar to post,talking to this pesrson then that person and yet I am not getting anywhere.I know people on here cant cure me and are limited to how they can help but i am just after any advise if anyone else has felt this way and is there any light at the end of the tunnel as starting to feel like i am sinking and getting very worn down by it all,thanks

[PaulaJo]

Hi Niz,

I'm glad you feel you're coping better, but I can also relate to the low times. My mum also has depression and anxiety, and she told me, "There will be good days and there will be bad days". I think, knowing that some days will be bad, does help - it's not you failing or necessarily getting worse, we all have good and bad days.
It is just really tough having a "bad day" or a low day, when you are fighting depression too.
I recommend using this site, I also know the people here aren't the cure, but I have found great relief in being able to express how I'm feeling, working through my illness, and also the friendship and compassion that people on this site have shown me, has been a great comfort.

I was also at a point of thinking there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but I have also consequently felt positive and hopeful about my recovery.
If you feel like you are sinking, then you should perhaps go see your GP again because maybe you need a higher dose of meds.
If it ever gets really bad, please call the Dr or a friend, or Samaritans, who I really recommend. Their number is 08457 90 90 90. I have used them a few times and they're wonderful, just to talk about things when I feel hopeless.

Look after yourself Niz, try to take good care of yourself. Let us know how you're doing.

[niz]

Hi,thanks PaulaJo,its good to know that i can come in here and at least speak about how i feel,I am at the stage where I am trying to make sense of it all,not sure if i ever will but only time will tell but at least on here i maybe able to recognise the feelings and emotions i feel,thanks again and will keep posting when i need to,If i can be of help to anyone please message me or post on here,not sure if i can help but will try.