I woke up early in morning last night and I couldn't get back to sleep. Over last few weeks I've been waking up early in the morning at random times but last night I couldn't see myself getting back to sleep, do you reckon it's the medication? I'm noticing that my breathing is slightly short breathed but I reckon that's the depression and a bit of anxiety, I'm feeling a little angry right now and I think that it is the fact that I'm ashamed of myself that I've got myself in this state and feeling this way, I am ashamed that my family has to put up with these terrible mood swings. I am easily agitated by the smallest things and feel like I want to do something stupid or be punch a wall, it's mad I'm literally thinking of death every day but I can see the light and the fact that I have a life ahead of me but ATM its all dread and negativity and I am constantly talking to myself about the pain and talking gibberish sometimes in my head, finding it really hard to stop thinking about the depression; I'm not thinking clearly to myself at all, I don't know how I've managed to cope for this long and i think I got the meds at the right time I reckon that if I waited another week I'd have done something ridiculous. All I want is for this to end so I'm just going to hang in there until things get better.
