wish I could cry....

[Catbrian]

Hi sad sack....I am a Glaswegian living in London and I haven't cried for 20yrs....until just recently.  I wept - only once - at the sad realisation of just how mental life had become!

[KateG]

I have always cried at life, tv programmes, books, films, you name it, if it is the slightest bit emotional then I cry.

Having depression just means that I cry at more things now.

I should have bought shares in waterproof mascara.....

[zeemiller]

found an old film sets me off if its all feelings stuck inside and not cried as this film helps relase , ET, AI films that set me off and are used to help let it all out , altho do cry when at worse sometimes need to and its stuck and fims help as memories from past and the film set in.

[CharleysAngel']

Hi sad sack, I never used to cry at anything. For my first four years in secondary school I never cried once, not even at home. Then when things started to go wrong I have cried at school most days. I know how frustrating it is to not be able to cry, whether its because you just can't seem to or you can't because of 'image'. I think that everyone needs to cry no matter who they are xx

[joethfc]

I used to cry a lot as a kid but I think I had it knocked out of me (metaphorically), I wish I could just cry like I once did. Now my crying is less conscious, sometimes I feel tears falling (like the memorable part in Philip K Dick's 'Flow My Tears The Policeman Said'). Sometimes my face contracts but very little comes out.

[Cinderella]

That is exactly what I experience. Good topic!
I always had moods and for a female a week before the monthly period, it used to be easy to just cry
and let emotions run.
For 3 years now, I am stiff and my face is hardly moving. When I look in the mirror, I want to cry and sometimes I just start, but the desperation COMES FROM THE HEAD and not FROM THE HEART.

The last time I really desperately cried was when I watched the film 'Message in a bottle' with Kevin Costner and Robin Wright Penn. I had not been on anti-depressants and well enough for months and when I watched the film, I felt this strong PMT and while the story was going I could not detatch myself from the loss this character was going through. I desperatly wanted him to feel better and get over his loss and then he died.
I didn't want him to die.
As if something in me totally identified with this loss.
Now I am back on Anti-depressants again since May and still feel terrible. *^*

[sad sack]

Well, not sure what's changed with me.... but with everything going on, I've had a good few cries...

Doesn't make me feel much better, maybe I'm not very "good" at it... but had some tears...

Not sure why i felt the need to share that... but there you go! :lol:

 %$£ %$£ %$£

[Catbrian]

I wish I could cry more often.  I also can have a serious looking hardened expressionless face.  People have often told me to cheer up, even when I am happy!!

Sad sack.... it's good to hear from you again.

Cinderella... I'm sure you already know that certain anti-depressants don't work for some people.  Perhaps you could try another kind?  Sometimes we need to try a few before eventually finding one that helps.  A long road, I'm afraid.  Good luck

[Cinderella]

I wish I could cry more often.  I also can have a serious looking hardened expressionless face.  People have often told me to cheer up, even when I am happy!!

Sad sack.... it's good to hear from you again.

Cinderella... I'm sure you already know that certain anti-depressants don't work for some people.  Perhaps you could try another kind?  Sometimes we need to try a few before eventually finding one that helps.  A long road, I'm afraid.  Good luck

Thank you Catb. It is a very hard and long road and incredibly frightening.

[CatAndMouse]

I want to cry and sometimes I just start, but the desperation COMES FROM THE HEAD and not FROM THE HEART.

^^Thats excactly how i feel. Im still only an early teen yet, right now more than anything i just wish i could cry! Every time i slightly well up, suddenly its my mind whos urging me to carry on, but the moment ALWAYS passes. Im 13, i havent cried properly in two years. When my pets died, there would be my mum in tears and all i could do was act sad. its like i dont have the ability to anymore, its really weird, ever since the depression. But i have been brought up to let out emotions and it wasnt weird to cry in my family? maybe its just because for soo long ive had to take a role as an adult to help and support my family and brother whos ill, its like i cant show sadness in my own home anymore, maybe ive just become so withdrawn i cant cry anymore?

i dont know, guess it could be quite a few reasons.

I hope that if ou feel like crying, that one day you can :)

[Cinderella]

@ CatandMouse

I guess that is part of the depression and if you feel that you are taking on your parents and brother's problems, then that can create stress.
My daughter is your age and I always say to her that when you are a teenager you are constantly growing and learning new things every day, so that is extra added pressure.
What really helps is to chat to friends, that is what I did when I was growing up and I think my daughter finds a lot of  comfort in her friends, too.

Its good to share these feelings here, too. Thanks for sharing!

[Catbrian]

Cat and Mouse... I totally agree with what Cinderella has written.  It's so important to have support.  You should take credit for the strength and maturity you display in such a selfless approach to the issues at home. 

Sometimes when we're going through a rough patch, there is little room left for the worries and upset of things around us.  This is probably why you feel numb of emotions.  Personally, I have experience of similar emotional numbness but know it is directly linked to my depression.

Cinderella... I love the avatar.  I agree, when we're suffering depression, it is a 'long and frightening road'.  I hope things are beginning to pick up... We are all here to support you anytime

[Cinderella]

thank you Cat B. It helps to know that one is not the only one.

Love your 'eating, sleeping, roaring cat/or tiger?

lol
 

[Anthony 996]

Something I have done ..............

I am amazed to say.. But then I never thought in My worse dreams a few tears ago that I could feel how I do at those low moments..

Ant

[Michael Frankum]

Hi. My parents have always been great to me. I'm lucky - I'm 54 and they are still alive. But they just never have understood crying. I remember when my father's Mum was buried. Standing near the grave he looked lost, I was crying so I tried to give him a hug, but he avoided me, backed off and put his hand out to shake my hand! (So, once again I make it all about me!) Crying can help with so much, when the time is right. Man, woman or child, all need to cry at times. Overmedication blocks it for me some times, so I stop the meds for a while, but then when I find I'm crying too much and at silly things I start the meds again. I shouldn't do this I know, but I need to feel that I CAN feel.

I would never advise anyone to stop medication but it seems to keep me...sane? Does this make sense?