How to make next weeknd better and talk to more people?

[Paul]

Hi
I’ve just joined this group and hope to be help to others out there too.

For the last 6 months I’ve been feeling so low and down. I work all week then on a weekend I don’t see or talk to anyone. I am a quite person and don’t enjoy just sitting and talking to people. I do really enjoy clubbing, nights out, been out when it’s really busy. I have no fiends to go out with I go to my favourite local pub every Saturday night on my own which is always busy with people my own age and has a DJ on. I so wish I had a few outgoing people to go there with regularly to have a good time and laugh with. I can go months without talking to anyone on a weekend. I just want to go out clubbing more whilst I’m still young I really feel as my life is passing me by and I’m getting so down and cry when I ‘m at home. I’ve never had a girlfriend either. I’m really desperate to meet new people just to go clubbing with because I’m rubbish at talking to people in a quite environment so I’m not sure if joining a club or organisation would help me out. I used to enjoy doing gardening and D.I.Y but have no interest in it any more I just sit feeling depressed about having another lonely Saturday night. I do know someone who is a girl she lives in the next town about a 5 minute drive away so not to far. She goes out with her friends on nights out  who live in the same town as her and I feel she doesn’t tell me she is out because she will feel bad about me having to get a taxi back on my own but I’m really not bothered. A  lot of the time she goes out with her girlfriend’s so I don’t expect  to be out then. I meet up with her about once every 2 to 3 months with her boyfriend in the pub just for a chat but all I seem to do now when I see them is just moan about how I’m feeling down and fed up. I am and wanting more friends to go out with. I have had 2 nights with them last year but it’s still not enough  but they are a couple and I’ve only known them for about a year so I really don’t expect them to go out clubbing regally with me.
I know it might not seem they is anything seriously wrong in my life but I’m generally upset, lonely, down and have a feeling of self worth and get funny feelings in  my chest from the depression  when I realise it’s going to be another wasted weekend on my own. I don’t mean this in a suicidal way but I do wonder if I would be missed if I wasn’t here well about from my family that is.
I'm 25 years old by the way.
Paul

[lightenup]

Hi Paul, welcome to the forum.  Maybe by going out with this girl and her friends one night would give you a wider range of mates.  Who knows maybe some of the girls are looking for a friend too.  Sorry putting my mother's cap on now.  My eldest son was very quiet and quite frankly when his girlfriend broke off with him, I made him take a week off work as I was worried about him, he came to work with me.  My motto is there is always someone for everybody.  Its very difficult to just start chatting to someone, but I find it is easier out in a club or bar.  Sorry I can't help you more, please taake care. 

[Lil Miss Lost]

Hiya Paul, i dont have many mates that i like to go out with, have you tried making friends at the pub you go to? know it sounds crazy but when i wanted to meet new people i joined a dating site and that kept me from being bored, also i found one person in my area who i went out and had a laugh with for a few months, you dont have to say you are looking for a relationship can be just friends and word your profile that you are looking to meet new people to go out clubbing with, nowadays i listen to internet radio stations and chat to people on there when im feeling sociable, made some lifelong friends! hope you start feeling happier soon :)

[Paul]

Thank you both for the replies so soon it‘s already made me feel a lot better. I wasn’t sure how well my post would be received although  I am feeling down nothing bad has happened that should be making me feel depressed but I am. I have my job and a loving family and I used to be grateful just for that. Now I’m older I realise I’ve got to start meeting more people. I only work with about 12 people who all have a family etc.
I have met some of this girls friends but they all seem happy with there boyfriends and going out occasionally. Having spent years of having no one to go out with I’m desperate to find people to go to the pub with regularly whilst I’m still young  and have a good time been around people. Then maybe think about settling down a bit. I really can’t see myself ever been in a relationship or just having a single girl to hang out with just can’t imagine it but my main focus at the moment is having people to meet up with on a weekend. Then who knows I might meet someone. I would love to try to make friends with the people in the pub I like the pub most of the people in there seem about my own age and seem like decent people just wanting to get out and have a laugh like I do. I’m really bad at making small talk I can never seem to think of anything to say I do smile and I’m always pleasant to people so I should be able to make new friends but I find it so difficult. The reason I love noisy and busy places is because you don’t need to have a  big conversation with people just small talk but I’m not even very good at that, to be honest though I’ve never made an effort to try, well actually I do stand in the centre of the room and I do try and look at people I don’t just stand in the corner of the room out of the way. I think joining a dating site and stating I’m looking just to meet new people is a good idea and I’m going to do that now I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. Been quite I probably come across as someone who likes quite pubs and spending time at home playing computer games or something but  I like clubbing, I’m not into computer games and I enjoy days out visiting cities and big tows as opposed to a quite walks in the country somewhere.

[Lil Miss Lost]

Good, see talking helps :) Concentrate on making friends and improving your own self esteem and making you happy then the rest will come honestly :) I never thought id meet anyone to settle down with til i joined the dating site Post all your likes and im sure you will find a companion to wants to go with you, you can look for people with similar hobbies to you too and dont be afraid to message them as long as you are friendly which you are on here you will do fine, keep us posted :)

[Paul]

I’ve now joined a dating site so I’ll see how it goes. Thanks for the encouragement and advice it really does help. Yes I’m sure if I can concentrate on getting to know more people then the rest will follow and I’ll be really happy .

[lightenup]

Well done Paul, keep us posted on how you get on.