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Author Topic: control!  (Read 7269 times)

lemonade_shock

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control!
« on: March 30, 2012, 10:35:57 PM »
I know noone replied to my last post in here, but I have since been on a journey that I didnt think I would take, in trying to understand me!

I just want some dam control!! One minute i'm anixous, one minute im irritated, next im very suicidal and the next happy as larry, but never never relaxed, ever.
I have to go to bed after or way way way before my partner just to get to sleep.. why I dont know!!!!

I then have phases that I dont know what I'm doing, where im going and can be dangerous, last week I just walked out of where I was, ment 'missing' and a few hours later I was standing infront of a car that I apparently jumped infront of with the driver screaming at me. Then I was in the hospital waiting room waiting to be seen by the police who had me down as missing (cant leave it 24 hours when mental health is involved) and the crisis team to try and calm me down. They told me to go home and have a bath.... right ok??!!??!!!

I also am extreamly anixous outside, I dont leave the house on my own atall. ever. and very rarely with someone, even with my partner I find it too hard.. why why why..

borderline personality disorder, servre depression and an anixeity disorder..

I want control of my own life!!! just control, I want to know that I can make plans, I have booked to go to the theatre in 2 weeks time, its been booked for months now, but who knows if I'll get there or not.

I hate, HATE HATE HATE it!!!!!

rant over.. sorry :(
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Just keep swimming.. just keep swimming..

Zaf

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Re: control!
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2012, 06:53:13 AM »
Its good to be able to rant

Z xx
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Buttercup

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Re: control!
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2012, 07:11:56 AM »
Agree with Zaf.

Have you been diagnosed BPD etc?

Have the crisis team helped you anymore than by telling you to have a bath? I think you need to speak to someone and voice your concerns that you are doing things way beyond your control and that you have few recollections of what you have done.

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lost rolex

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Re: control!
« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2012, 07:24:36 AM »
small steps are ok at first but to be honest there's nothing outside worth getting ready for, if it's not school run then i don't go out much how do we get out more.
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Harmful intentions
particularly those involving deliberate acts exploitation, seem to cause longer-lasting and more painful emotional consequences than natural disasters. The crucial factor may be that such experiences destroys people’s trust in others, particularly if they involve someone you have depended on.

lemonade_shock

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Re: control!
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2012, 03:29:20 AM »
Yes I've been diagnossed with bpd, finally anyway, and it makes sense, but I think now I know and understand I'm noticing it more, if that makes sense? I just don't know.how.to stableise it out.
I'm on a mood stablerizer as well as anti d's but still :(
Crisis team have been crap, but I'm currently in a day hospital, but even there they can only support me and listen, the doc there is the one that put me on mood staberlizers.
I just don't know what to do with myself half the time..
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Buttercup

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Re: control!
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2012, 07:22:34 AM »
For you  &*( &*(

Which mood stabiliser do you take? I take Lamortrigine.

LR I don't know how we get out more, I'm the same as you, the school run but I do try to go for a walk on the way home from school somewhere quiet.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2012, 07:24:27 AM by Buttercup »
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Sweetpea

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Re: control!
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2012, 05:41:05 PM »
 &*( for you.

S x
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Got

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Re: control!
« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2012, 09:38:32 PM »
The way you are switching definatly sounds like bordeline personality disorder.

It is awful what you are going through, things shall get better with time, therapy has been found to be very useful for those with borderline.

Steve X
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