Sertraline

[Pete]

That's all I want mate, even drinking a lot I felt able to cope and led a "normal" life, got up,worked,did hobbies etc I just drank a fair bit through the week but now I just exist, sometimes I feel that I'd be better off just drinking again and getting on with things instead of feeling like this.

[Got]

Im pretty sure that you wouldnt be better of drinking...you'd be self medicating.

When do you next see the doctor? Be sure to tell them of you expansive behaviour...it could be signature hypomania/mania, and a bit of medication might just sort you out.

[Pete]

Well whatever it is I need to be sorted, I want my life back whatever it takes.

Are you bipolar btw as you seem to know something about it?

[Got]

Cyclothymic, apparently. I dont get fun ups. just periods of restlessness, irritability, racing thoughts, agitation....and then the depression. I swing in and out of it at random.

What you describe sounds very much like bi-polar...it could be enduced by the medication, but your symptoms need discussing with a doctor. I know where I would put my money.

 

[Pete]

Last week was the first time I have gone off so bad usually its just been over the top happy or really busy with the odd crazy idea but this time it was more serious. The downs I prefer I think but last week I would have said the opposite cuz I felt great until the anger set in a few days later. That I don't like at all

[Got]

When is your next doctors appointment?

[Pete]

Tomorrow morning 9am. Its back to the usual stress of it again too. Strangely I feel comfortable about the worry of going if that's makes sense, its as if it belongs together even though I'm stressed about the whole journey as it entails so much effort and planning. Before last week just after my pills were swapped I had to go to see my cbt woman but I flipped when on the way to the car, sudden mass panic and then major fear which resulted in a violent outburst. Didn't go and haven't heard from her at all either, not even to see if I'm ok and why didn't turn up. Other than the day I decided to drive last week and did so like a young idiot I haven't driven for months due to a neck injury. Last week I dunno how I managed it but the pain is now much worse so I obviously over did things in the agility part. Part of me is even saying to myself not to mention anything to the doctor incase they hospitalise me, I really don't ever want that and would really rather just drink again or anything than go that route but I know I have to tell him I'm just so nervous now that I just want to be alone in the dark and not go but I have to I know. I need more pills but then again do I really need them if they mess with me like they did. I feel I've gone back a few months and wish I'd never started this journey and just stayed as I was, I managed ok for my whole life why change now at 40? Why bother? I know I need some help but its just not as easy as I thought and its made everything so raw and open when before it was neatly hidden behind my mask and in a bottle.

Sorry for the ramble oops!!!

[lightenup]

Hi Pete, you certainly not rambling, but you have told how it really is and how you feel and your fears.  Believe me the stress of the meeting is awful, lol I try and play my situation down or outwit the physchiatrist in case they think I'm a lost cause.  Currently I am on Mertazapine, Sertraline, and Quietapine, and now he wants me to take lithium which he sent me a letter informing me off.  Like yourself I wish I had been left to my own devices, as I have no idea where this is going.   

[Pete]

Hi litenup,

Your on a mix of meds aint ya? Lithium? Is that a stabilisor thing for bipolar?

I just wish I knew why I was like this and althogh I don't want a tag knowing what and maybe why would be a base to start from and maybe get correct meds.

As of tomorrow I'm on 100mg sertraline along with tramadol,paracetemol and diazepam so got my own cocktail going too it seems

[Got]

Hi mate, things becoming raw could be something that unfortunatly, needs to be done. If you do end up with a diagnosis, well they may give you appropriate medication and everyting may become much easier for you, which is why by looking for help you are doing exactly the right mature thing to do.

Good look, hope all is well.