Paranoid!

[Bexwa]

Over the last few months I have become so paranoid. I was out last night with friends and because my best friends sat at the top of the table and I was at the bottom, basically on my own I felt so left out. Then when we went to another pub it seemed like everyone had something negative to say to me, I know now looking back on it I was overreacting and was taking everything to heart, but I got up and just left the pub and got the bus home on my own, even though my fiancé had come all the way into town to pick me up. I just don't know what has come over me. I feel like everyone is talking about me, and calling me and doesn't like me. If friends get together and I've not been invited, I get so upset! This never used to happen to me lol. I've never been like this and I really hate it. I've even took myself off Facebook so I know I can't read into someone's posts and think its about me.

I just feel completely insane!  !"! does anyone else feel like this?

[Alstare1974]

Sorry to hear that. Hugs x

[lightenup]

Bexwa don't stress  Just think about the 2 options

What your rational head tells you
What your irrational head tells you

We know when we analyse like this ..........  however it is very difficult to understand the rational/irrational thinking  ( the trick is getting the irrational thinking to get less and less)  Wish I could do this I know the basics, just wish it would come easier to do.  Take care 

[Zaf]

I think its part of this horrible illness Bexwa, I'm convinced people dont like me or thinking nasty things about me too

[danbob]

i find myself in this situation allot bex.... i just drink more to compensate for it which is never a good thing, iv told my close mates about this before and to be fair they told me that sometimes they leave me out a little because they know i hate being around loads of people and they didnt want to put me under pressure.... quite nice of them actually xx

[Lol]

Bex that's horrible for you. It is very worrying and just down right horrible to feel insecure like this in a social situation. I used to feel like this with some of my ex's friends. I felt so small and almost immobile with the fear of anyone looking at me. Sometimes I daren't even go to the loo because I felt like it would draw attention to myself. Then rejoining the group was terrifying! It is illogical and your friends love you, but I think sometimes when you feel like this the only thing to do is leave. One thing I used to do sometimes is say I'll come for a drink but I have arranged to be with other friends, then I was still making an appearance but I had a time limit to the edurance. It gave me back a little bit of control and eventually a little bit of confidence.

[Bexwa]

i just drink more to compensate for it which is never a good thing

Story of my life. This is what always happens to me. And then I'll probably make a fool of myself.

they told me that sometimes they leave me out a little because they know i hate being around loads of people and they didnt want to put me under pressure.... quite nice of them actually xx

That's really nice of them. I don't think the friends I was out with at the weekend are like this though. I'm actually distancing myself from them. I've took myself off facebook and twitter. I've tried speaking to them about this and what I am going through before and they basically just don't want to know.

[Bexwa]

I think its part of this horrible illness Bexwa, I'm convinced people dont like me or thinking nasty things about me too

Yep, I think this all the time now. And I hate it. Its making me want to stay in all the time.

[Bexwa]

Bexwa don't stress  Just think about the 2 options

What your rational head tells you
What your irrational head tells you

We know when we analyse like this ..........  however it is very difficult to understand the rational/irrational thinking  ( the trick is getting the irrational thinking to get less and less)  Wish I could do this I know the basics, just wish it would come easier to do.  Take care 

Yea I know I need to stop and think sometimes but its hard to do when your in 'that' moment. I'm just glad I left before I got more drunk and said something to make it even worse. I'm definitely gonna try doing this though, it might help matters.

[Bexwa]

One thing I used to do sometimes is say I'll come for a drink but I have arranged to be with other friends, then I was still making an appearance but I had a time limit to the edurance. It gave me back a little bit of control and eventually a little bit of confidence.

That's actually a really good idea. I might have to try this one. I'm just finding it harder and harder to go out and see people now. The paranoia is making me think things I never normally would. I have a really good friend who understands me completely but I don't see her often. And then when I go out with these, who I actually thought we're my real friends, turns out they only want the old Becki who used to get high as a kyte and drunk as a skunk. They don't want the new person who has problems. Their just not interested in that side of me. I guess that's not their fault, they don't want to be burdened with other people's problems. I guess its just time to distance myself from that kind of environment.

[danbob]

i just drink more to compensate for it which is never a good thing

Story of my life. This is what always happens to me. And then I'll probably make a fool of myself.

they told me that sometimes they leave me out a little because they know i hate being around loads of people and they didnt want to put me under pressure.... quite nice of them actually xx

That's really nice of them. I don't think the friends I was out with at the weekend are like this though. I'm actually distancing myself from them. I've took myself off facebook and twitter. I've tried speaking to them about this and what I am going through before and they basically just don't want to know.

i did that when i was going through the last bad bout of depression, sometimes its the best thing you can do.... im totally addicted to twitter now tho :)

[Bexwa]

I get addicted to them both, but now that I don't have them I actually feel a lot better. I don't scroll down looking at the same thing all the time, or seeing that the same people are always ill or what they've all had to eat for dinner lol.