Dubious about CBT...

[Laurs]

Hi all,

I've been suffering from depression for about 18 months and after gradually increasing my dosage of citalopram to 60mg during that time, my GP has referred me for CBT.  I'm a bit dubious about this as I generally see myself as a strong and intelligent person and so am struggling to see how it will help.  I know that when I am depressed I have negative thoughts, and I know that the logic behind them is stupid.  If I already recognise that myself is it likely to help? I really want it to, but I'm just a little bit dubious.  Has anyone else gone into it with the same doubts and found it useful? Would be great to hear other peoples experiences.

Got my initial assessment with the local mental health gateway worker on Monday so I guess I'll know a bit more after that.

Don't want to go into it being negative and thinking it won't work before I've even tried it, but I just think of myself as a logical person and know that when I'm feeling depressed my thoughts don't make sense.  I'm just not sure how somebody else telling me that will help.  But like I said, here's hoping!

[lightenup]

Hi Laurs, my Dr referred me to CBT, unfortunately as I had a blip in my recovery, I have been posponed until my meds are sorted out, and I am a bit bettere in myself.  It is actually quite good, and to be honest I though at first what is the point.  Recognising when you are unwell is a big part of the therapy and dealing with things in small pieces and trying to make you feel better about making small achievements is a big part of it.  I now know when I am heading downward and recognise that.  I have always been a very logical person, and it is about recognising the illogical side.  Do you ever say no to anybody? are you superperson like me £$%, it is learning to recognising that it is ok to say no, and you cannot be all things to everyone.  Even though I am particularly unwell at the moment I am practising elements of CBT, so give it a go.

[seamie]

 hi laurs.i know just where your coming from. i have just been recommended for cbt,but there is a 10month waiting list, but even though i am sceptical i am going to give it a go. nothing to lose only an hour of my time. i think you should give it a go chuck

[Laurs]

Thanks for the replies both.  I am going to give it a go and see what happens.  I'm seeing the gateway worker on Monday (whoever he is?!) and then I assume he will decide whether he thinks CBT is going to be suitable for me.  The appointment to see him came through in about 3 weeks, but once I've seem him can there still be a waiting list after that? 10 months is a long wait, you would think they could do something to cut it down bearing in mind that people with depression etc need help there and then really!

[Laurs]

By the way, sorry to hear you are having a blip lightenup.  I know all about blips! They are the worst as when you think they are getting better and then you have a blip is really drags you down.

Yes, I think I do have a bit of the superperson mentality that you mentioned- I don't like to be defeated by anybody so I try to do everything and please everyone! I guess there's only so long that your super powers can last before they run out...  :)

[lightenup]

hI Laurs..............think this is my big downfall I try to be superwoman.  Physchiatrist has upped my meds this week and they are to be upped again in 4 weeks  , I was looking to come off them.  Best laugh is he has told me I am under so much stress (elderly sick parents/parents in law).....don't I know it, and told me if I could stay away it would help "£", wishful thinking on his behalf.  Today I have the shakes so much. Hubby thought a bit of retail therapy was good, I just hate going out.

[Laurs]

That's what happened to me just as I was thinking I was ready to come off the meds. At one point I went down to 10mg, was really happy to be coming off them, then I had a blip and they've been increased over and over again and I'm now on 60mg. This depression lark is rubbish isn't it?!

It's great that your husband sounds like he's supportive. My boyfriend is the same and it's so sweet but he doesn't really understand how I'm feeling, don't think you do unless you've been there. Did you go for your retail therapy in the end? If so I hope you bought something nice :-)

[lightenup]

Overboard on the retail therapy, loads of nice things..........stupid as I won't be going anywhere to wear them.  I swear I am a slob in jimjams lol.

2 different meds on high strengths an to be upped again in 4 weeks...........spaced out or what.  Psychiatrists..........i'm totally lost on what they are trying to achieve.  How do you feel, describe how you feel, what do you do in the day, do you hear things......  My god they are something else or maybe its just me.  Wish they would all leave me alone and wonder would I be better off battling against all the meds.   

[Laurs]

Jim jams are the best, but sadly my bf makes me get dressed as he thinks it'll help me feel better. Maybe you should use your nice new clothes as a boost to help you go out. I've been there and I know it's easier said than done, but even if you go out and hate it, if you're anything like me then your stubborn side will at least be pleased that you tried. I've got the sort of personality where I hate being beaten by anything so sometimes that makes me go and do things and feel pleased I've done them even if I hated every minute of it!

In the last week I have also started doing a bit of exercise. I've read everywhere that it helps but I've always been a bit dubious. I've been cycling to and from work and although it's not far I've found it helps counteract the sleepiness that the tablets cause a little bit, which in turn has made me feel a bit happier.

Seeing the gateway worker in a couple of hours about cbt so hopefully that will be a step forward for me.

Have you got any small goals you are working towards? I find it helps. For ages my goal was just to be better but I gradually realised that's a huge goal and when you realise you can't conquer it its another blow, but if you set yourself small steps to try en route it can help. Again, easier said than done. I'm obviously having a good day today so feeling optimistic...wonder how long it'll last this time!

[one day at a time]

I've had CBT and for me it didn't work, but different people get different things from it, so give it a go.

I am training to be a forensic biologist, so find any type of psychology hard to accept, so this did blinker me a bit, but also, I knew my thoughts were wrong, irrational etc, but nothing, not even their techniques could change their affect on me.

Don't take this as how it will work for everyone, please give it a try, it may prove a breakthrough for you.

[Laurs]

Well I met with the NHS gateway worker yesterday and he has decided to refer me for counselling rather than CBT, although in his words "there's not much they can do for depression".  He questioned whether I was really depressed, told me he doesn't believe in medication and that a lot of people my age think they're depressed when they're not really and that I will probably just snap out of it soon enough and that'll be that.  He told me I should do happy things such as make egg and soldiers??!! Basically he made me feel like a complete fraud and that depression isn't really an illness, it's something I've created myself when there isn't anything wrong with me.  Not exactly helpful! I don't want to be on medication but at the end of the day I have a life to live.  I've tried doing 'happy' things to 'cheer me up' but that's the problem with depression- things that you used to enjoy and used to make you happy no longer do.  So to summarise I wasn't impressed at all! Luckily I am feeling quite strong at the moment (probably because my meds were upped 2 weeks ago) so I was able to deal with it and challenge his stupid comments and questions, but if I was at a weak point at the time he would have crushed me and I assume most other people who are feeling low and battling with depression!

I'm back at the docs on Thursday so will see what she has to say about it.  I was hoping seeing the gateway worker would be a step forwards for me but it hasn't been at all which is quite disappointing.  I wasn't convinced that CBT was right for me anyway, but to have somebody question whether you are really depressed or whether you are creating the problems yourself isn't exactly helpful.  He also said "you don't look like a person who's depressed to me".  What does a depressed person look like?! 

[lightenup]

My goodness what is this Gateway person specialised in!!  What a bloody cheek, depression as we know it is like having loads of little windows and now and then you see a bit of light God forbid that you where having a brighter moment with the help of your meds.  Yesterday I had a great morning, but as usual I go like a bull at a gate, when I get this window of oppportunity and end up exhausting myself, and feeling rotten later.  (CBT makes you log  things like this, and trys to teach you to only do a little at a time, and build on that, easier said than done)

Let your Dr know, Wouldn't we all love to snap out of it, I find my brain is not as sharp now to have responded quickly, but it would have been nice to ask him what a depressed person looks like!!  A person like this could top someone over the edge with this attitude.  Hope you get on well on Thursday x