https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/relationships/my-family-banned-christmas-unless-23172117?utm_source=mirror_newsletter&utm_campaign=morning_newsletter2&utm_medium=email'My family have banned me from Christmas unless I change my daughter's name'
The mum-to-be's sister and wider family are urging her to reconsider and strangers are now also chiming in with their opinions about her unique choice of name
By Rosaleen Fenton Exclusives Reporter
15:53, 15 DEC 2020Updated17:22, 16 DEC 2020
As we've seen countless times, there's just no chance you'll please everyone while choosing your child's name. Not that should be your aim while choosing something so important. As the mum or dad, it's down to you only. That said, most parents will find it hard to ignore criticism over their choice especially if it is from your nearest and dearest. Typically, most parents spend a lot of time and thought choosing a name they love. So having a close family member or friend dismiss it does sting. Even worse, if they get angry or upset, what do you do?
Spare a thought for one new mum who might not be seeing her family this Christmas unless she agrees to change her daughter's name. As we've seen countless times, there's just no chance you'll please everyone while choosing your child's name. Not that should be your aim while choosing something so important. As the mum or dad, it's down to you only. That said, most parents will find it hard to ignore criticism over their choice especially if it is from your nearest and dearest. Typically, most parents spend a lot of time and thought choosing a name they love. So having a close family member or friend dismiss it does sting. Even worse, if they get angry or upset, what do you do?
Spare a thought for one new mum who might not be seeing her family this Christmas unless she agrees to change her daughter's name. "She was the most welcoming, funny, caring woman any of us knew, and was incredibly intelligent too, she could play more instruments than I can actually remember the names of (many "exotic" instruments from Africa and Asia). She was passionate about the geology of the quarries of the area, holding talks on her research at the church hall every few months. Romana was the name of my SO's cousin, who we lost to cancer during her early years, but she was a very witty and positive child and we loved her and still do."
But the woman's sister has objected and said that the little girl needs a more modern name. The woman added: "My sister however is against naming out daughter after "dead people she'll never meet" (which made me cry from anger immediately when she said it) and that the name sounds old fashioned and that she needs a more modern name to "fit in more" with children in her class in case she gets bullied. When I told her that I would not be changing the name, and that there was nothing "bully-able" about it, she started screaming that I was no sister of hers, that I was disrespecting the family by using the name of someone from my SOs family in my daughter's name and that she would spit on my daughter if she saw her. I tried to limit contact with my sister as my pregnancy progressed, but it was hard as she left me missed calls everyday. My SO answered one about three months ago in which she said to tell me to check my email. I decided to do so, and she had sent me a list of names to "strongly consider" using, including "Riley", "Kailey", "Luna", "Emersyn" (spelt like that) and "Harper". I ignored the email and continued to ignore her calls. My sister is self diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome and apparently this excuses the horrible things she screamed at me about spitting on my daughter. My parents say my sister claims I've abandoned her and is stressed and crying a lot, and my wider family want to ban me from the Christmas video call for causing "drama". I worry that my baby name has had a severe impact on her health, although I don't believe myself it's my fault, everyone in my family is treating me as though it is."
But lots of people assured the woman that her sister was behaving in an unacceptable manner. One wrote: "If a sibling of mine ever threatened to spit on my child, they were never be allowed to be in proximity to the child or me ever. Your family is enabling her. And the name you chose is lovely."
Another person agreed, adding: “Your sister is the one who is causing her own mental health damage here. She needs to stop obsessing over what you do or do not name your child. And if your family is willing to cut YOU instead of HER from the Christmas call for "causing drama" they aren't worth speaking to.â€Â
A third blasted: "Nobody cares what names your sister likes or suggests. It’s not her baby. So, she is going to spit on your daughter if you name her Romelia, huh? Oh, hell no. And the rest of your family can mind their own damn business, too, if they want to see you or your daughter. At least this Christmas you have a really good excuse to not see them. Maybe, oh maybe, they will be rational by next year."
