We hear so often that a substantial proportion of people suffer from depression or similar difficulties therefore we should all be free to tell people how we feel. The problems I find with that are twofold.
Firstly, if I do try to tell local people how I feel then I get, at best, puzzled incomprehension. Certainly nothing which makes me feel understood and supported. That includes people who say they have suffered depression or anxiety in the past. Yet they still seem to just not get it. There is also the danger that they will withdraw.
Secondly, I myself don't know whether my lack of motivation and my anxiety of doing things is the result of a disorder or simply that I'm being a wimp and making a meal of what everyone has to cope with in life. In reality, it is not possible to know how much physical pain someone is in. We can only go by what they say and have a rough idea of how similar situations would feel to us. With "invisible" diseases it is harder as the observer has no objective physical things to go on. They ONLY have what the sufferer says so how can they, or I, tell the difference?
I look around and see people doing things with apparent ease which I can only do by fighting the anxiety tooth and nail. Are they doing the same or is it really much harder for me to do these things than for them? My instinct says, "yes it is", but maybe I'm just weak.
A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling particularly bad and I tried to tell one of my closest local friends in the hope of getting some understanding. Without giving me the chance to say what I was feeling, they said that they were feeling worse. In reality that might be true but they couldn't know that. I feel that I just need someone who can understand how I feel so that I don't feel so isolated and don't think that it all has to be my fault. Maybe that is not possible, I don't know....
Fergus.
