Finding the motivation to help yourself...how?

[Flea]

Everyone on here has read about how to relieve depression....exercise, socialising more being two of the main things that seem to help.

But how do you make yourself do it?  I struggle to get out of bed in the morning.  The thing that makes me feel better the most, is the thought of coming home, curling up and hiding away.  But this feeds the depression.

How do you find the strength to fight it?

I feel my life is in limbo, yet passing before me - I want my life back, I want the old me back....I WANT to feel excited about life again... +&$

[Matface_lost_in_you]

I feel exactly the same way. I know I should get on and do things to make me feel better but I just can't bring myself to start. About the only thing that makes me feel better that I seem to be able to motivate myself to do is driving - Not going anywhere in particular, just driving around listening to music. Even then though, i get home and feel &$%+ straight away. It's really weird how at the same time as really not wanting to be wasting my life doing nothing by myself at home, there's nothing else i'd sooner do. If that makes sense :S
I cant say as I can give any help, cos i'm pretty much in the same dillema. But I know what you mean

[Aimez]

I know how you both feel. The doctors always ask what do you do for fun, all my hobbies are lonesome and prob make things worse. I can't wait for Fridays when work is over then for what to sit about at home? I only seem to look forward to going home and to having my dinner, wish I had a holiday or a night out to get excited about feel like a right saddo! It is hard I am trying to eat healthier as I have put on weight sitting at home as well.

[daithi]

I can identify with all of the above posts.

What I have found is that it is pointless to aim too high:  I am not going to suddenly start being a 'party animal' all in one go (I never was in the first place, come to that), but I have found it helps to pick a small, possibly even silly, goal which I can achieve.  The feeling that I have actually done something gives me a bit of a boost.

It can be something as seemingly simple as writing a letter or cleaning the bath, but I get a real sense of achievement once I've done it.  I think - and I certainly hope - that these little successes feed upon each other, so that in time I will be able to set myself more challenging targets.

[crystalmagpie]

Hey,

    I agree with all of you. It takes everything I can give just to get out of bed in the morning yet I work with children and it's about the only time I do feel some kind of happiness, as they are so full of joy and their innocence makes you forget how big and ugly the world can be. Have no idea what to do with myself when I get home though as I can't pretend there and I dread it. I want to try and motivate myself, but it's almost like I'm not ready. The last time I felt this bad, I went for months and months, shut away and wanting to do something about it, then one day I was having a 'good' day and I just decided I wanted to listen to music. I sound like an eejit but I became a bit obsessed about listening to music over the next month or so and gradually started to dance and sing along to it, which put me in a good mood because I enjoyed it. Eventually I realised I started to look forward to switching on my music and started walking while listening to my ipod. It meant I got some exercise and further elevated my mood.
    I'm not suggesting we all do this. I've actually been TRYING  to do this and it's not really happening, but I guess the point I'm trying to make is that, at that time, I found something I enjoyed and although I still had to work at it, it gave me something to focus on and gradually look forward to. You're not going to feel motivated to exercise, however happy you feel, if you hate doing it.

x x x x x x x x x

[crystalmagpie]

I have just read the reply I just posted and it's actually quite ironic. I am trying to help others by my past experience, yet my past experience can't help ME now. I'm more screwed up than I thought.

x x x x x x x x x &*(

[Aimez]

Well today I got some exercise while doing something I enjoy, I am an avid car detailer (bit like a valet but not!) cleaned my car and my Dads this weekend. I felt a sense of achievement but I know this is not going to get me away from the house toward having a life. When I go into work one of the young lads always asks what have I done this weekend did I g out with friends of go for a night out. He just laughs when I say no didn't do anything really every time he asks.

[Flea]

I've spent all day out with friends...went shopping, went to watch a friend compete her horse, went to see my horse and exercised him - all the while I was feeling tired and panicky and would much rather have been at home.  Now I'm home I feel awful. 

But at least I have had some fresh air and socialised, even if it was hard work - got to be better than staying locked away at home.  I just want to get rid of the desire to get home and hibernate, it's not the way to live.   

[Aimez]

Oh my God well done, I guess it gets easier? I dunno I make things worse the rare time someone does ask me out I make up an excuse as when I have gone out apart from with family I feel like I want to be at home. Been invited to go on a night out at work and I said yes. I am looking forward to it but I normally make up an excuse at the time to not go as I start worrying about it. Am scared as I am one of only 2 girls at work and it will be a very laddy night out but think I should go!