Being kind to ourselves

[alys511]

Being kind to ourselves - I think a lot of us may struggle with this.  I'm in my 40s and just starting to do it!  Wish I'd done it years ago.  it's not easy though.  What do you think?

[RedAlex76]

It's one of the hardest things a person who suffers from depression can do!

Personally I always find myself able to tell others kind things about them than say them regarding myself! But I've always been the supportive type of person!

Right now I don't think I could ever consider being nice to myself!

[Pip]

It is a struggle and much easier to be kind to others

[PaulaJo]

It is such an integral part of healthy living and yet sometimes so difficult to define, I find.

For me, it can be as "amorphous" as a positive self-regard, just trying to regard myself positively. Sometimes also a "mothering" attitude to myself, comforting, consoling... if that makes sense!

For me, the opposite of being kind to myself is when I treat myself and my body as a "vehicle" to get things done, and I have little or no regard for how I'm doing.

It may sound like I am aware of all these things and like I'm doing the right thing, but it a struggle to translate this knowledge (of what it means to be kind to oneself) into daily habits of kindness.

[JC]

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha

I read this quote, ask myself “do I?” and the answer is no.

Being kind to myself is intrinsically linked to my feelings of self-worth, the guilt surrounding the death of my partner and the feeling that I should, in some way be punished, for failing him when he needed me most.  I sleep very little, my diet is poor and I drink & smoke excessively; all counter intuitive, I know exactly what I am doing wrong but I don’t care…………….a “what’s the worst that can happen?” sort of attitude.

I am capable of great kindness towards others, which I find very easy, but I do not deserve kindness, love and affection from anyone, most of all myself.

[alys511]

To Paulajo - I can relate to every word of that.  I'm so glad to read it.  Sometimes I feel guilty when I'm kind to myself, but I also feel guilty when I'm not kind to myself.  Does it make sense?

[alys511]

To JC - I understand all that.  Especially the lack of sleep.  I don't drink or smoke.  I can see why people do it though. 

[kutuup]

To JC - I understand all that.  Especially the lack of sleep.  I don't drink or smoke.  I can see why people do it though.

That's a bad road to go down. It's very tempting to turn to drugs and artificial happiness when you can't find natural happiness. I was an alcoholic for years because drugging myself up was the only thing that made me feel anything close to happiness. Alcohol makes you feel like everything's OK, but you wake up the next day and find yourself half human until you have another drink before too long. It's true: The drugs don't work, they just make you worse. I'd shoot heroin into myself if would really help, but it doesn't. It'll make you feel good for a while, but that stuff will kill you and then some. It's not worth it to be artificially happy. Drugs will make it go away for a few hours, but it'll come back even worse than before. They're illegal for a reason, they really don't help.