First post - isolation

[felicidad]

Hi all

I am making myself join this forum and spill my guts to cyberspace because I realise how much I have been isolating myself over the last few months. I don't know about you, but I am not very good at sharing, so I hold on to feelings and thoughts because I don't know how to express them to the people that care about me. On paper, I have a support network - I have family (who I am on good terms with), and I do have friends... But that doesn't matter - when I start down the slippery slope from wellness to a wobble, I find it so, SO difficult to open my mouth and tell anyone I'm not coping.

I think the reason (inside my head) that I find it so hard to do is that I don't want to make a fuss, it's not *that* bad, it never seems a good time to bring up a subject that is such a downer, and I would hate to burden my friends with my anxieties / cause them to worry on my behalf. I am also worried, in the back of my mind, that they may decide that their friendship/relationship with me is too much effort, if they are constantly having to reassure me and sort my life out. What can I offer them, anyway, to make them feel supportive? Those are my thoughts.



I've been on a waiting list for counselling for many months. It's proving difficult because I'm always at work and the reduced-fee services hardly offer any appointments outside of office hours. I had an assessment appointment last week, which left me feeling crappy rather than better - they assess you and get your hopes up, and when you've started to open up and talk, after your 50 minutes are up they turn you out again and return you to the waiting list.

I've not been on a forum in many years. I got so much out of them as a teenager. Good on all of you for ensuring this resource is available to people that need it. I didn't have to spend my Sunday morning like this, but it's going to do me good...

[JC]

Hi felicidad

Welcome to the forum. All of what you say is also true of me, since losing my partner last May I have increasingly isolated myself from people around me; like you I have supportive family and friends but I also bottle my feelings up because I do not want to trouble them with my problems or have them worrying about me.

I  work full time but have been lucky to get a counselling service that offers late appointments. I have been receiving counselling since July last year but I am still not convinced it is beneficial to me; we seem to spend most of our time batting around the same issues that I cannot, and will probably never, come to terms with.  The long waiting lists seem to be standard wherever you live in the UK but I hope you are allocated a counsellor soon and that your experience is more positive than mine.

This forum is a great outlet to talk about how we am feeling with people who understand how badly depression can affect one's day to day life. Members are very friendly and supportive so I hope it helps you to come on here for a chat now and again.

[Pip]

 :welcome:

I am another one who finds it difficult to talk to family but it's complicated.  It is easier to talk on forums because others understand.

[craig84]

I however can talk to anyone amd anyone about my problems or grievences which can help, by peoples opinions and morals mirroring mine or it can make things seem worse when u do actually "spill your guts"  then dont get the response or empathy you desire.

Your definitely not alone in your isolation,  some of us do it out of pride.  Some out of shame,  some out of anger or resentment or some just cannot face the world out of fear.

You have come to the roght place to speak...  We are like a support group here and we may not have the answers your looking for but im sure we all have some similarities in our experiences which can bring a certain level of understanding which i know has helped me so much since ive joined.

Like jc said i hope you get your treatment sooner rather than later but in the meantime i would google things that concern you and read material thats referenced,  understanding can go a long way in our journeys to live a more fulfilled life.

[stewart]

Hi felicidad, welcome to the forume, you will find us a helpfull bunch here and always willing to offer help and suggestions.