Hi, I'm Jap, I live in United Kingdom now with my mum. I was living previously in the Philippines, had to move here a month before i turned 18. I have been here for 2 years and 3 months now. I was on my 2nd year of degree in nursing when I left. I didn't go to school when I arrived here because the school said that I cannot start because I don't live here permanently. I did start working though.
It has been 2 years now and I still feel alone and sad. I do have friends here but they are so much older than me. They are on their 40's and I'm only 20. I don't get to do some things that I like. When I'm with some people my age, I feel that I don't belong because I'm from a foreign country and I don't know their culture and stuff. Back home, I had a girlfriend, but we broke up because of Long distance relationship. We can't seem to make it work. I can't find anyone here. I spent most my time at work doing 2-4days shift (12 hours per shift) and at home. My mum wanted me to go out of the house more so that I will not feel lonely and sad here but the thing is, I don't want to go out because I don't have anyone to join me. It will just make me more depressed to see other people in the park or in the mall with their set of friends while I'm all alone. I tried going out sometimes but I constantly find myself just sitting on a bench and looking afar and sometimes, even crying (which is a bit weird for me because back home, I am the life of the group, the class clown as others might say. I don't get sad that easily, but ever since I moved to this country, It's like everyday). I feel that I'm alone in this country.
I found myself calling The Samaritans sometimes for help as I cannot hold it anymore. I have passing suicidal thoughts when I get depressed and I just had to call someone and talk and just cry. I have issues with rejections so I hate it when I don't have anyone. I don't know if anybody will take the time to read this but thanks if you will.
*Sorry for the long post. Thank you in advance for all your response.
