kids' noise giving me panic attacks - anyone else?

[kotinka]

Hi,

I have 2 kids, aged 5 & 6.  One has ADHD & Autism, but not severe.  I had post natal depression and have been off meds for 18 months.  I thought I had recovered but am scared I may have slipped back. 

The last few months, I find myself getting increasingly upset by the noise of my kids constant fighting, bickering, moaning and dissatisfaction.  They seem to be happy for only fleeting moments, when they're getting something they want.  This behaviour's worst when I have to take my attention from them for a moment to do anything.  They crave attention so much I can't get the housework done & it's mounting up.

The effect the screaming, crying etc is having on me is weird.  I feel a tight pain in my chest that gets tighter & tighter.  I start to have trouble breathing.  I get angry & lash out, yelling at them.  It's lately started to make me feel like running away or taking a load of tablets to escape because I hate the way life has become one huge fight.

Can anyone else relate to this?

[Friartuck]

Totally..kids are the one thing you can not control...work.. you can pace yourself, do chores, going somewhere doing the shopping etc etc all of those things you can pace yourself..

Kids are a totally different ball game. I got so fed up today i just let them fight it out and let one win and the other cry. I felt nothing - depression does that to you removes your feelings to things. Kids force decisions....reactions...attention through their behaviour...they force things.. so either don;t let them force the reaction or if they are doing naughty stuff..then discipline via the time out.....

They wound me up all over the easter holiday i just had and because they demand everything now now now you don;t get a moments rest to think things through..

So 1) don;t feel bad about shouting at them...they won;t remember it anyway
2) if they get totally out of hand and do something unacceptable put one in one room on time out ( the one causign the most angst ) put the other in another part of the house on time out. if they escape...keep doing it untill they get that they have to do the 1 min per year of age and DO NOT BACK DOWN.....you will need to push on untill they do that timeout..then they will kinow you mean business..always warn them about time out before you do it...count to 3 before you do it.. if you get to 3 and they are still misbehaving...follow through..get them on that time out spot...tell them why they are there and always get a sorry before you let them off the spot..no sorry they stay there untill they say sorry. time out is the one tool you have to take the heat out of any situation... get them to calm down etc...

3) if they kick the &$%+ out of their room don;t tidy it up let them live in the mess theyu will soon learn not to wreck it..
4) kids know when you are weak and when to stick it in there to wind you up...so put on the shell and act uninterested (unless they are about to stab each other)
5) Don't worry if you end up smacking them to stop them getting into danger...
6) By a book called toddler taming - it gets you into the heads of the senseless thing that is a toddler...
7) Get a friend in to help when you are weakest...divide and conquer...
8) panic attacks and depression are close bed fellows so do not worry that you are getting them i get them too...especially with uncontrolable crying whinging kids.. kids
9) don;t worry kids are far more resiliant than adults.. there brains are full of life brain cells and they can put up with all sorts of crap that adults can;t...
10) be kind to yourself.. you are probably a great parent