Newbie in need of help and direction.

[SteveW]

Sorry you are having difficulties already. As a Child Protection Social Worker I would have had to take an interest in what your wife alleges but she would have to do an awful lot to convince me. Firstly you don't harm children you harm yourself. Your wife would have to convince me that you have adopted something quite different.

Then there is past child care. I presume your wife was aware of your self harm for some time. I would almost lay money on the fact that she will have left you to
look after the children in the past while being fully aware of self harm. I would want to know why she didn't do something back then if she was that concerned.

I don't see what you have to lose from mediation. I am sure you will get there in the end. I had something similar, well worse. In my youth I was an LSD dealer
and that didn't stop me getting my access. I simply argued that the past was the past and so no longer relevant.

Don't let it get to you.

[Pip]

Lee, I'm sorry I didn't respond yesterday.  Needed to respond when I wasn't doing other things (website related  ) as I didn't want to do a rushed post.

Whatever you do never give up.  I know this is easier said than done try not let it show what effect it has on you when you're talking to your wife.  Your focus is your children and showing that you will do anything to prove that you are and will be a good dad.  You wife may feel she holds the cards but you can prove that you are doing something to help yourself.  The time will come that your children will know that you have tried if she makes it difficult in the long run for you.

I have self harmed over the years as it was the only way I knew to let emotional pain out.  My depression started off as emotional / verbal abuse  then became even more severe when I was 19 which is adoption related.  The only person who knew I self harmed was my husband and it has upset him.  I eventually let my sister know in 2011 in a letter after years of not talking which is a story in itself.  All I asked of her was not to tell our dad how badly I have suffered with depression or about the self harming.  I did tell my parents back in 2005 that I was depressed and I may have well told them I was suffering with a cold 

[Liv]

Hi Lee, I'm sorry that you have had a hard time getting any empathy from those around you. This is a good place for at least finding people that you know can understand your feelings.

Peoples' reactions to self harm are always difficult. From my experience, they either get freaked out and assume that you are crazy or they think that you are just attention seeking. The act doesn't really have anything to do with what you are or are not capable of doing though.

I hope that you can resolve things with your family.