I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago now and im trying to learn ways of dealing with it as it doesn't seem to go away and the more I read into bipolar the more I think I have it. the manic highs, feeling indestructible like nothing can stop me, not having a tad of insecurities or feelings of worthlessness, there are times I think im the most amazing person on the planet then out of nowhere im lying in bed thinking of ways I can kill myself......how crap my life is and how worthless I am.
ive tried poisoning myself with rat poison, cut my wrists before, od'd on sleeping pills which could have induced a coma. I wasn't hospitalised for any of this... I was for an ecstacy overdose..... that shocked doctors because people have died taking half a pill and I had 45, I did die and was brought back..... these are things at one point in my life I couldn't comprehend how anyone could do these things and here I am doing them.
the self harming I do to bring my emotional pain into the physical...
I don't know how to approach this, how am I qualified to diagnose myself as bipolar and what does it mean if I am.....
god I hate my life, catch 22 everywhere I turn
