Utterly despondent..

[Anthony 996]

I am at this time awaiting the start of a course of CBT. This as I think we all know can take some time.. I am on medication ( Mitazipine and venlofaxine) which really has little effect but does help just a wee bit...
I am diagnosed with clinical depression and under the care of a consultant at the hospital who I see on a monthly basis. But I am now feeling truly desperate as things just seem to much to bear...

Around four weeks ago I had to attend an ATOS medical.. I am or was on ESA in the support group. I found this a very hard process to deal with.. But the Consultant gave me a letter to take with me which stated I was under his care and that I would be unfit for work for some months as I was awaiting the CBT treatment..

At the medical I handed over the letter which was almost disregarded and was subjected to a physical examination and asked none of the questions I would have expected that would be associated with depression or mental health issues...

Now I have been told I did not score enough points and the benefit has been stopped .

I am now going to go into debt just to pay the bills I can.. Some of course are unpaid as it is..

Sorry if this sounds a complete moan but I am at My wits end here.. Genuinely cant see the point in struggling on against a tide I have no hope of beating....

[Buttercup]

Thats truly awful thing to happen with ESA, I'm not surprised that you feel despondent.  Have you spoken to your consultant about it?  I think you should as it may be worth appealing. xxx

[Sweetpea]

I agree this is truely awful. I also suggest you speak to your consultant and appeal against their decision. S x x x x

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[Pip]

I went through a similar experience but without a letter.  As I take medication for different reasons and was on Citalopram I was honest and listed it all.  The nurse didn't ask any relevant questions and simply asked questions about my physical health and got me to show her what I can do.  I didn't get enough points either despite proving I have problems with doing tasks such as bending over, picking objects off the floor and she could see how badly my hands are affected by arthritis.  My husband even asked what my physical problems had to do with depression but she wouldn't give a straight answer.  Fortunately it hasn't affected our position financially.

[Anthony 996]

Thank You all for the replies.... Over the last few months I have been struggling really badly.. But with the help of the consultant and the hope that the upcoming CBT treatment will have some positive effect I was ticking along.. OK not doing well but just ticking along... Then this has come up and caused a major upset as I just cant cope with it..

I am at this present time away from home staying with my Son as I am down here in the Midlands to attend A very close friends funeral.. I have lost two close friends in the last two months.. Sad and very stressful times  like I could never have imagined when I was a well person.

Pip.. I to have had no letter ! I just had a reduced payment .. So I called to ask why only to be told of the outcome of the medical.

The worry now is intolerable and I feel that I cannot take any more.. there is only so much anyone can take and I am a the end of my tether. I genuinely fell hopeless , worthless and really don't want to go on like this any more..

Of course the withdrawal of the benefit is only a tiny bit of the problem but its the straw that is breaking the donkeys back.. Sorry.......

[Sweetpea]

I can understand why you feel this way. Having depression is hard but having financial worries on top just makes things worse. Just because we look ok does not mean that we are not ill. Depression IS real and its totally debilitating. (((( hugs )))) for you. S x x x x

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[Anthony 996]

Thank You all so very much ! I cannot say how much it helps to have somewhere to turn to !

Im so sorry but I have to ask for a little help if its possible ?

Absolutely stunned....................

Today I received the letter from DVLA informing me that I have been disallowed.

When I went to the ATOS centre I was in a right state. In the interview its self I was I'm ashamed to say in tears...

I was asked none of the Mental health questions only ones about physical health of which I have no real problems...

The letter says I was fine at the interview and conducted my self in a reasonable manner !!!

It says I have no issues with dealing with people and am confident !!

No mention was made of the letter I presented that was written by the Consultant at all.


SCORE ?????
You guessed 0 points.. Not even one point.... How can this be ?

When under pressure I get twitchy. Very embaressing  and I hate it ! Mostly I dont even know Im doing it but when things are really bad I know its happening.

I was pretty bad on the day of the interview ! Another thing I do when under severe pressure is just simply walk out or away from the situation I find my self in. Its the only way I can cope.

I explained this to the Person conducting the interview. Just in case I did just that. Walked out.

Of course I didn't do it but struggled through but did break down in tears as I felt so trapped and ashamed.

I need help now on what to put on paper if that is possible.

Im very sorry to ask for this but I cannot go to somehere like CAB as I cannot in my present state cope with doing that..

I feel in a very vulnerable and desperate state today... Its not been good lately and things are mounting up to the point where something is going to burst.

I feel so ashamed of my self not only for being in this position but for having to ask for help.

A few weeks ago I was feeling like ending it all and even wrote a letter.. I am now starting to feel that way again as coping and trying to swim against the tide is just to great. I am here in tears just writing this. Sorry.

[Sweetpea]

Oh Antony I am so sorry, I do not know what to suggest. But wanted you to know I had read your post.  Why these people are only interested in the physical disabilities I do not know. Just because we look ok does not mean we are not ill. But they just seem to ask the questions that are down in black and white on their forms. So many people here have had the same problems with claiming. Its just crazy. Its about time the benefits department woke up and realise how depression affects people and how debilitating it is. S x x x x 

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