Introduction

[Una]

Hi All, I am new here. I stopped smoking 12 weeks ago after 50 years and have been very depressed since about the first week. I was using patches for 8 weeks but now only a inhalator occasionally. I had anxiety every time I stepped down a patch but that has gone. I don't know anyone as I moved here from America to look after my mum and never speak to anyone except in shops. I was very depressed when mum died 3 years ago but didn't do anything about it. I was ok 6 months later when I went to visit my family in NZ. Every time I come back I start to slide down again but this time I didn't. Not until I stopped smoking. I need to get on and have the place done up so I can rent it out and go live near my family but I can't do that because everything is too much effort. Should I persevere or see my GP? I play positive thinking apps a lot and can relax easily. BTW, I don't miss the smoking :-)

[Catbrian]

Hi Uni... welcome to the Forum.  Sorry to read you're mum passed away.  3 years is no time for bereavement and I'm not surprised you're feeling low again.  Well done for giving up the cigs.  Depression is quite common.  You may not be missing them, but they have been a steady companion for 50 years, plus, the body must take quite a jolt from very difficult withdrawals.

I think it's worth talking to the GP.  It takes so much energy to get through our days.  Trying to decorate to rent your house asap must feel next to impossible.  Maybe a small dose of Anti-depressants might help you through the worst of it. 

Hope you find the Forum helpful

[Ezel]

Hi and welcome  +-_

Go and see your GP as it will help to talk.

[Sweetpea]

Hello and welcome to the forum :). I think it would be a good idea to have a chat with your Dr and just see how he/she may help you. S x x x x

[Una]

Thank you all. I didn't think mum's death would hurt so much after all this time. I'm finding it hard throwing away her things and changing everything about the house. I had bought the house years ago but she wouldn't have workmen in. I suppose at 90 it would have been a lot of stress. Now I need to get rid of a 50s kitchen and bathroom :-( I'll make an appointment to see the Dr.

[Sweetpea]

((((hugs)))) its very hard to change things that a loved one had. So many things can bring back memories. I lost my dad 22 years ago. I still miss him terribly. So I do feel for you. Take care. S x x x x

[Ezel]

My sister has found my mum's death really hard to deal with, my  mum died on the 1st April last year.  My mum was asthmatic all her life then diabetic for about 20ish years.  My sister has always lived close to my parents so was always there for them.  My dad has been through two operations for an ulcer then he had stomach cancer.  I didn't have a great relationship with my mum but that's another story.

My sister sent me a private message through Facebook earlier this year around Mother's Day and I could tell she was really struggling.  It's almost to the point that she resents my dad for finding a new lease of life.  I am happy for dad as he was devoted to my mum and was worried that he would give up on life after my mum died.  My sister and I don't get on very well but she is still my sister.  We fell out in 1999 as she had gone to far with causing me true which is another story  so we didn't talk for 12 years.  It was my mum's death that got us talking.  At times I wish I could give my sister a hug to make her feel better.   

[Una]

I know exactly what you mean. My sister and I have never got on very well but we had been getting on better since mum died. Unfortunately that stopped when I decided to stop smoking. I told her not to phone me because I knew if I was having problems then I would fall out with her. Well, she phoned me twice within half an hour. Both times I was trying to get myself motivated to set up my embroidery machine. (Concentration is a big problem when you first stop smoking. ). This machine is American so has to be plugged into a voltage adaptor. I was so uptight that I plugged it into the wrong part of the adaptor. £1500 down the drain. Needless to say we don't speak now and she's the only person in UK I know :-(

[Michael Frankum]

Hello Una. You seem so alone, but I'm sure that this is a good place to find support, comforting ideas and useful suggestions. I have had help from some very wonderful people since I joined the forums, and, as you can see, people UNDERSTAND here. Best wishes.