The idea that animals could have evolved over millions of years in unthinkably stupid. This is what happened:
God made the world in seven days using his magical powers. He then decided to make some animals, but after a while he began to find them a little bit uncivilised (animals being rather filthy creatures). He then made a man in his own form, and men are not animals. However, the man got bored on his own, and so despite the fact that birds had already been invented by God, God had forgotten than he had done this and reinvented them again (see Genesis) to keep the man company. However, the man proved to be an ungrateful sod and he didn't appreciate these aerial acrobats at all, so God created an inferior version of the man called woman.
This all happened about 4 thousand years ago.
The problem with humans is that they misbehave and they refuse to obey his teachings. To kindly put them on the straight and narrow he has tried starving them, he has asked them to kill their own children to prove their allegiance to him (throwing them into fires being the preferred method),and he has introduced diseases - but they still just won't listen. Even Jesus, the son of God, (who was so powerful that he was capable of not being God but simultaneously was God - and so was partially his own father) was not capable of making people believe the teachings of the creator of the universe. The ignorant Romans executed him, but in doing so, the only achievement of these evil, sacrilegious, doubting fools was to create the worlds first Zombie. In the end Jesus went back to live in space, and he doesn't do much nowadays, but it is still polite to pay our respects.
God has now had to resort to communicating with people telepathically. They usually live in the United States but sometimes they live in other countries as well. God isn't a racist but he does favour the North Americans due to their superior neo-liberal economy, which God is in favour of. Using the wisdom that God gives them they set about creating world peace by starting wars. God famously spoke to George Bush in a dream and told him to invade Iraq. In biblical terms this does qualify George Bush as being a prophet, and indeed profit he did, and so we should heed his warnings. Fortunately, when the peace loving God fearing flock of the USA heard of this dream, they carried out Gods desire and sent weapons and soldiers to this region and now the world is a much better and safer place to live in.
By meddling in the sciences all you are doing is ignoring the obvious truth - that if you continue to read about Charles Darwin, an eternally burning hell awaits you, and I've heard that it stings.
