i wrote on here a couple weeks ago about being nervous to go my gp about depression i have since managed to make that first step but i find myself falling into the same bad habits as i did before i havent botherd to go back to my gp after our second appointment she said it was very likley i have depression and seemd to just want to ut me on meds which i really dont want to do (variety of reasons) i was supposed to make a follow up for a week after and 2b fair we did set out a plan to try and takle without the meds but i have not made a follow up and i dont know why on top of that my paranoi has gotton much worse which i feel is the reason for my depression as i get paranoid about most situations now guess im just feeling lost again not helping the fact that i have started drinkin almost dailey again which obviously in the long run wil only make me feel worse feel like im rambling now but i find it hard to put my thoughts down as my head spins will proberly remeber the point of this post in a couple of hours or tomorow gguess im just feeling mixed up and ina bad place again
