There is, as we know, a lot of stigma attached to taking medication. Its seen as the last resort, a weakness or giving in to depression. A friend likened meds to armbands and i have now made the connection which i want to share in the hope it will give others clarity or inspiration.
We, the depressed are being forced to learn to swim in life's pool of misfortune. The one with the the scary whirlpool. We need help to stop us being sucked in and drowning. Medication are the armbands for our swimming lesson. They will be worn when needed and hopefully we can let them down a little at a time so we can eventually swim without them. It is obviously personally humiliating to have to ask for them and for people to know we are wearing them as we may also be teased, judged or bullied, often by those we look up to or respect. The thing is those people are probably to scared to even admit they cant swim at at all or are lucky enough to have never found themselves well and truly up the wrong river and out of depth.
I ironically have never been a strong swimmer however i have waded through a lot of life's strong rivers with plenty of determination and bravery. I now wear armbands everyday and a lot of people know, who only seem interested in when i can take them off. I didn't ask or choose to jump into the the pool, i just seemed to wade up the wrong branch in life's river and before i knew it i was suddenly being sucked into the whirlpool and drowning. I kidded myself i could swim to the side but i didn't get far at all. I was wise and brave enough to cry out and ask for armbands and they slowly gave me the confidence to bob around in the pool and no longer fear it. But I know it is still there. That is how i intend to stay for a while. Bobbing around watching others thrashing around me, too foolish to see the dangers even though i am waving a big sign at them and showing how well i can swim with armbands, but like me they will have to learn the hard way and I have to save myself before others.
Often i get a heavy weight on my shoulders and i feel myself going under again and in a scary way drawn towards the whirlpool. My initial thought is to get bigger armbands but after thrashing around in the water for a few days i manage to cope without them and see how i let the weight settle on me and only myself could have prevented it. If i had, or do choose bigger or even a different buoyancy aid the weight will still come back one day even heavier and so the swimming lesson will never be learned. We dont have to give the armbands back and i think far too many of us take them off too soon. If we can learn to swim and take them off one day we can always keep them in our locker but i don't think we ever will live without them unless we can see where that big weight comes from and learn to let it sink to the bottom, without us.
