Can you identify points in your life when something in your head has said 'enough is enough' just before being swallowed up in depression. My first period of depression was caused by a culmination of the stresses of school and the need to do well in life. I had always set my heart on studying for a music degree and put a lot of effort into achieving that sacrificing a lot on the way. By the time I was finishing A levels I had no friends so was a loner, never had a girlfriend, flunked physics A level because I didn't like the teacher, had the pressures of playing the piano in school concerts which still make me shudder today at just the thought, and was always arguing with my parents. I therefore had no social skills and people thought I was odd or or drugs, so wasn't really prepared for adult life as all my time had been mostly spent doing music. I just scrapped though my A levels to get on a music degree course but dropped out after about six weeks because of the social side of things, plus I was kicked in the stomach by someone just as I was leaving the college for no apparent reason. So I quit. I did manage to get a job interview and on the way home my dad said 'well, while you wait and see you had better sign on'. f***, it hit me right in the face. I was an adult in the big wide world. I didn't get the job and signed on feeling utterly despondent and started making suicide attempts, once by strangulation and others with paracetamol, plus self harming so I guess this was my first crash point. I did go to my GP and he prescribed me lofepramine, the start on the long road of medication. I overdosed on that too. When I look back I just wish some forward thinking teacher had taken me to one side and asked if I needed some help or whatever, but that didn't happen.
