Whats wrong with me!

[Sallas]

Ive been doing good the last few weeks, everything seems to be working out but the lonliness i still there. It takes so muh more effort to be positive and happy & honestly i kinda almost miss being depressed at least i felt something, i know its a strange thing to say but right now the acceptance of boredom is mind numbing. I dont know whats worse having hope when depressed, that things will get better or having no hope that things will get better when not depressed. I dont know i that even makes sense. I think i just need to be with someone, i need a hug, a kiss, some human contact, maybe just feel wanted just for a little bit. Nothing i suppose a good sleep wont solve. Anyway i very rarely have the right mindset to say anything positive on this forum so i just want to say i hope you are all feeling as well as possible, stay strong xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

[Got]

Hello,

having no hope hope whislt not being depressed? Are you sure you are not depressed if you feel that you have no hope?

XX

[Sallas]

I dont know to be honest, i suppose im not depressed in my general crying, cant get of bed, want to take abat load of pills kinda way. When that happens im aiming to make it threw the night. Now, things are going well so i dont know what to aim for. Im not happy but i have everything i thought would make me happy, i worked hard to get a job, get somewhere decent to live, have friends etc but im still lonely, i still need to be loved & thats something i can control so whats next? Its selfish isnt i? For as many years as i can remember, i said if i could just get a job, if i could just get this or that, now i have most of what i thought wud make me better but here i am, i guess im more sad than depressed. Anyway just ranting, thanks for the reply.

[Got]

No, you are not selfish...you dont sound to be anyway.

Do you receive any CBT to work through your thinking? Perhaps that could help. Too much emphasis is placed on medication alone.

Love Steve X

[Sallas]

First up i pressed report to moderator by mistake, im on my phone, i quickly pressed the back button but just in case i pressed it by mistake.

Second i dont know what cbt is, ive seen it mentioned a few times though, what is it? I dont take medication, ive tried it and it just made things awhole lot worse for me. I know it works for some people but personally for me i dont take any.the odd xanax or valium for sleep (when i can get my hands on some), when im having a really bad night.

[Got]

There are other medications if the one you were given made you feel lousy....as long as youn wanted to go down this route.

CBT is cognitive behavioural therapy. For depresion, CBT will address your thoughts, feeling and perceptions about certain elements of your life. It can help you see things from a different angle and perspective. It can be suprising useful and the statistics for improvement are quite encouraging. Obviously, it depends on the depth of your depression, but whilst you are feeling better, but still negative in some respects, perhaps it could be of real use to you (as long as you get a decent therapist..some are useless).

Perhaps ask your doctor for  a referal.

Steve XX