When they dont help...

[Sallas]

I asked for help of two people last night and no reply. Just when you think tou cant feel worse, huh? I dont know whats worse not being brave enough to ask for help or asking for it and getting none. I wonder what either person would have done if i sucessfully ended it last night. Im sure they would have made excuses like they didnt know, if only they could have helped. Struggling today. I wish i could have a day off from feeling so crap, jut one day without the world crashing in on my thoughts. Anyway rant over.

[Zaf]

Some people just dont know how to cope or help with mental illness

Can we help at all?

[coralqueen]

hi sallas, sorry your feeling so bad.....x

[Sweetpea]

 &*( sallas.  I agree  with Zaf some people don't understand mental illness and are scared of what they don't understand.

S x

[Sallas]

Thanks all. Just venting. I get that people dont get how to handle it, but these were two people i thought i could trust, there good people. I dont trust people as it is and its just another reminder to me why i dont. Im i that bad that they didnt even reply. You have to take it personally, its not as if i asked for a lend of some sugar, i was asking for a friend to just be company for an hour.

Im consistantly suicidal lately, im so so tired of being this way. It would be just nice if someone would give a crap (other than here,no offence). It wud be nice to just once get a hug and be told it will be ok. I want it to be ok but its a constant battle. I dunno, just venting.

[Zaf]

It does seem like that sometimes

[Dobbie]

Sallas I know the feeling. Sometimes you just need someone to be there, just to listen. No one I know never wants to be put in that spot. I thought I used to be able to rely on my wife, but even she doesn't want the pressure or responsibility anymore. Like you I often feel suicidal but that is just an easy way out. At least here people can relate to how you feel. It might seem a little distant, or it does to me, but at least it is a start.

[Sallas]

Theres nothing easy about it, ive always felt weird when someones says that its the easy way out, if it was easy i would be long gone. Thanks tho i get where your coming from, its hard to let people in and when i do they tend to dissapoint. Sometimes i think its a good thing im so alone, im not quite sure how i would feel if a partner wasnt there for me. Im bitter/dissapointed/gutted enough about the two last night, even though i do understand (ish). Its wrong that we all have to turn to a private msg bored as oppose to people we know, im so glad its here though. At leat i know im not totally bat&$%+ crazy :)

You know what, im not that bad tonight, once i woke up this morning i got rid of all the pills in the house (again) & i dont have money to buy more so im kinda relaxed in that i know ill wake up tomorrow (i wouldnt do it anyother way, at least i havent been bad enuf yet to go there). Anyway sorry for ranting. I hope your all good xxxx

[Sweetpea]

At least you can rant away on here.  We all understand.  :)

Take care

S x

[Zaf]

This is the place to rant sallas, no one minds &*(