Oh No Kezza27 I'm so sorry you feel this way. You are coping with a lot! There is no one I know that could sale through what you are dealing with daily with ease. It's ok to feel the way you do, as in give yourself permission to feel these feelings because they are a reaction to your situation, but, at the same time they are a bit of an over-reaction through no fault of your own. In answer to your question where do I go from here, I think you go to your doctors and explain how al this is making you feel and see what he/she says and follow their advice.
Life is very hard at the moment and it's so difficult for you to get through each day. You feel trapped in a bad dream without a waya to wake up. But you can wake up, you can beat how you are feeling and most importantly you must believe that you are certainly NOT a burden to your family, they love you very much and their lives would not be happier, but devastated if you weren't here. Please don't devastate their lives Kezza, sit your hubby down and tell him that there is something very important that you need him to listen to and try to understand. They tell him what you have just told us. Let him support you. You need plenty of support.
I hope we can be of help in your difficult journey. You will be happy again.
Take Care
Lol