Seriously desperate and stuck!!!

[Zaf]

Its very difficult for you and it shows what a lovely and considerate person you are by delaying telling her till after her birthday.

The only thing I can suggest is when you speak to her about this to say how much you sympathise with her and understand how she feels but then emphasise that you will become like a zombie or worse if you dont leave work and that its not a case of what you want but what you must do.  Perhaps if she still cant see your point of view ask her exactly why she s so desperately against you leaving work, and have answers ready if you think you need them, for instance if she is worried about lack of money you could tell her that if you have a complete breakdown you wont be able to contribute for very many months instead of a few months or if she says you arent zombie like at the moment tell her you feel you could get o that state in the next few weeks if you stay at work (or whatever your answers would be ) just have them ready in your mind if you can.  Reassure her how much you love her and that if you werent very ill you wouldnt be considering leaving work or putting all this stress on her and you want to get better as soon as you can to support her rather than her having to support you.

Thinking of you xx

[Lol]

That's right. This is a very tough thing to try to get accross.

As it stands, if you stay as you are, you have 100% chance of being that Zombie. If you change your circumstances you have 50% (or some) chance of avoiding it. If she is waiting for you to get to the Zombie stage before she recognises that you need to stop, it's too late you are already seriously broken.

It is lovely and right of you to wait until her birthday is over. Enjoy it if you can and be gentle but firm if you can when you decide the time is right to talk more to her about this.

We are here to support you (and her if you like) as much as we can.

[Got]

I suppose it is a tough situation you are in. Your health is vital, if you get to ill you will not be able to work anyway.

Please take care.

[Holykimura]

Hi both,

I am supposed to be at work tomorrow, trouble is I can phone in and say I'm not feeling very well, but my partner has a day off tomorrow as she does not work on Monday's . Would you suggest that I go to work and wait until Thursday to phone in sick ( day after her birthday)  or should I do it tomorrow and avoid coming home until later that day. I feel really confused and guilty about the possibility of lying to her. I could always go to work and go through the motions until the end of the week?

[Zaf]

Personally I wouldnt lie to her, so if you cant face or dont want to tell her before her birthday I would suggest going in to work and if it gets too much then go home sick (even if its only an hour or so),  it may even bring home the fact to her that you realy cant cope

[Holykimura]

Thanks steve, you take care too. Zaf I think that's what I'm going to do. I normally have a good day on a Monday ( as far as students are concerned ) Im not comfortable about lying but like you say if I can't cope I have the option of coming back home and then hopefully my partner might see that im not as well as she thinks. I'll keep you all posted, and I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your weekend.

[Zaf]

I'll be thinking of you xx

[Holykimura]

Thanks x