Author Topic: Hello  (Read 2806 times)

Blue eyed lady

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Hello
« on: July 06, 2011, 07:02:54 PM »
I joined today,Hello every one I am here because I realy have no one to talk to about my depression.
No one would listen anyway I have been to my GP and she has put me on Medication.
I find it hard to get to sleep at night and as soon as I wake up depending on my mood if I want to get up.
I am 45 and have Type 2 Diabetes had this 7 years now on insulin and tablets.I am 17 stone 6 at the moment and recently joined a slimming club Slimming World ! and I use my local pool and Gym,I have lost 5 pound so far in 2 weeks.
I feel a little better about myself and I am determained to fight my demons.
To be honest Ineed to see my GP again as I think I need some sort of councelling as I am feeling very down about personal things Family ETC!
I am a very good actress when in company smiles happy go lucky but inside I am a wreck,I wont show anyone how I am feeling on the whole I have a good family My daughter/son are great it's my mum she just don't want to know me at all and thats whats causing my being down.
I don't think she realises how much it hurts to not have time for me but has plenty time for my other siblins.
I have rang her asking if I can visit she is only 5 mins away by car,the last call 3 weeks ago I rang her saying I would like to call down ring me when and iv heard nothing since  :(

seamie

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Re: Hello
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2011, 08:33:55 PM »
hello blue eyed lady, its a bit of a taboo subject depression .nobody wants to talk about it,and nobody likes  to admit there depressed either. wwell done you for losing the weight. the exercising should help you feel better about yourself and as for your mum you will just have to be patient and keep persevering. take care xx

Munchroom

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Re: Hello
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2011, 08:38:43 PM »
Hey Blue Eyed Lady and welcome  :)

I think depression makes good actresses/actors of all of us! It's easier to put on a front and pretend to everyone else (and to some extent, ourselves) that everything is fine and we are coping - unfortunately, scratch the surface and its a different story.

As seamie said, congratulations on the weight loss - its so hard to focus on anything or have th determination to see things through when we are at our lowest, so it really is something to be proud of!

Nay x
This too shall pass.

Blue eyed lady

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Re: Hello
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2011, 04:53:31 PM »
Thanks for replying  :)very kind of you,it does get me down her not bothering but iv decided her loss not mine I have rang her twice called down twice to see her and she been to busy to chat for long she comes out to the car,I know shes eager to leave.
 won't contact her again Shes going on hols next week with my brothers and sisters caravaning,my other sister just been caravaning to ebgland for 3 weeks with her,we dont own a caravan,but be nice to get a call inviting us down for cuppa and chat doubt it,then my sisters call to see me and tell me what a fab time they all had while away,and I smile say o thers nice bursting to go in to tears.
Yes deffo better out of it if she don't like me I shall keep smiling and being lovely to every one,she will proberly ring me Christmas time to call down she loves Christmas I wont go,sorry for going on and feeling sorry for myself,but I won't ring her again as the rejection hurts and I think she enjoyes it ....

seamie

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Re: Hello
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2011, 08:23:14 AM »
thats it you keep smiling. it is her loss. give it time and she may come round.  ;)

Blue eyed lady

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Re: Hello
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2011, 07:27:58 PM »
Hello it was my sister's birthday last weekend,so we called up her house to see her on arriving my mother was there too,I just smiled was polite we chatted just about every day things,there were other people there too so it was easy to mingle about,I was on top form smiling and in a good mood,I did think why can't you come visit me too,but i though bugger her yes her loss :D
She is missing out so much but iv decided not to dwell,my life is much too busy I'm in the gym or pool most days and lost 3 pound last night in slimming club,I feel alot better today and had the best nights sleep last night,too be honest I don't like my mother too much has happened over the years,she is spitefull and a born again christian,my arse!!!!!
I could never close the door in my daughters face I support her in every which way I can,we best friends we argue yes have our down days,but I could never turn my back on her,or her brother,thats why it hurts so much,anyway like I said im lifted and proud im doing something to lose weight going hold my head up high  :D

Munchroom

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Re: Hello
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2011, 07:35:16 PM »
Well done  - Its so hard sometimes to lift ourselves above everything thats happening and stay positive, but you are doing it and that is fantastic! Also, your relationship with your own daughter sounds healthy - so that is really good, focus on that and I'm sure you will be getting stronger every day  &*(
This too shall pass.

dorsetpaul

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Re: Hello
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2011, 03:28:41 PM »
Hi Blue Eyed lady,

I admire your attitude Its great that you are swimming and excersing - I sometimes that think that doing excercise really helps to make you feel better. 
I have found counselling to be really useful in geeting to grips with issues and helping to understand the behaviour of yourself and others. Can you get your GP to refer you for some counselling?  I think it would be of benefit to you and help you to cope with the situation with your mum and family.

lightenup

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Re: Hello
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2011, 03:51:15 PM »
A warm welcome to the forum, I know it is difficult but as everyone saying concentrate on the positives and build on them. :)
Poor is the person who takes pleasure out of the persecution of others