Hi Sihaya and welcome :)
I think sometimes it is very hard for the people around us to understand what it is like. Like you, my boyfriend is brilliant and has been so patient throughout my depression - even though he has had it
really rough at times, but as he's admitted himself, all he can do is be there and that, i personally think, is worth the world!
I did get to the point last year where I couldn't leave the house. I too was having panic attacks but it wasn't because I was scared of having a panic attack in public (nosebleeds freak me out much MUCH worse... even though I havent had one in about 6 years!
) I just had this overwhelming fear of being outside, what if I bumped into someone and they wanted to talk? (I live in a very small village) What if the dog was off his lead and wouldn't come back? there were things like that, but I don't know to this day what triggered my fear of being outside and if I have to explain then I simply can't - incredibly frustrating for my other half! I'm getting better at it now though... most of the time!
I was on diazapam a few months ago to decrease any anxious feeling I was getting (HA! I think a milk tanker full of them *might* have just scraped the surface...) I didn't really find they helped though, but I was on 2mg spread throughout the day, or 'as and when'. I was also on prozac at the same time, but my doctor changed me to Venlafaxine and they seemed to work better. Everyones different, but sometimes finding the right AD for you takes time and a lot of patience.
I hope you find support through these boards, I know personally I find it a great comfort to know I'm not alone in all of this.
Take care, nay x
