Hello everybody.
Well, sadly in some ways, it looks like I'm not alone, but it's also comforting to know that I'm not. Yep, I suffer with depression, although anxiety is my main problem. I also have mild OCD problems, although these were quite severe at times, but they have now subsided although even now for example, if I'm going out somewhere, I have to plan my 'exit' for an hour before, as I'm compulsive about safety at home, especially about fire and burglars.
I've had these problems for as long as I can remember, I'm 43 now and they go back to my early teens, at least. My Dad suffred horrendous depressions and my Sister is compulsive and anxious too. I had some, shall we say, bad experiences as a child, although I don't really want to go into the detail of that, already done it countless times.
I've had therapy, been assessed, taken meds, etc etc. Although I'm now off the meds, as the side effects were as bad as the anxiety and depression, so I took the decision last year to stop taking them. I was very ill in the process, a misunderstanding with my GP meant I stopped taking the meds (venlaflaxine) too quickly and I even had a suspected seizure as a result. This resulted in the loss of my driving licence, although I now have it back.
I should be the happiest person alive, but I'm not. We have our first child on the way, I have a wonderful Wife and a good life. I don't work because of my problems, I'm not great socially anymore and concentration is a problem.
I'm going through what I would term as quite a bad depression at the moment, for the first time, I can see some appeal in taking my life, although I wouldn't do that due to the pain it brings to those left behind. I've experienced what suicide can do to a family first hand, and I would never bring that anquish to my family.
That's me, I'm here to talk and help as well, I don't like troubling my Wife with it as she has a high pressure job and is 19 weeks pregnant, and I don't want to worry her as she gets easily upset. I don't have anybody else to talk to, as my family are all over 400 miles away.
I'm not here just for help, hopefully I can give it too, I'm pretty experienced with this condition now.
Thanks for listening.
:)
