some mothers do have em

[mar42]

I have a very close relationship with my mum,she has been a wonderful support to me,but i feel i have become emotionally dependent on her. Im on my own & have been for 3/4 years now,so i haven't got a partner to share with. My therapist thinks i develop physical symptoms (virus like) because i cannot face certain emotions that Im facing (whatever they are). I am a leaseholder,but receive benefits due to depression.I  have just been told i owe the council £1600 because they haven't been charging me for hot water/heating although i pay £80 a month service charge. I felt really anxious about this,i had a manic day & got valium from gp's but it was my mum who made me feel better. Friday the 7th i received a £4100 bill for a new radiator system thats been put in the estate. I tried to sit with it & didn't mention it to mum & felt ok about dealing with it,i got in touch with c.a.b & made an appointment with them. I thought i will keep this to myself & deal with it myself. I had conversation with mum last night & she said she had made an appointment with the council about the first bill £1600 & i ended up telling her about new bill & she couldn't believe it. I now feel like &$%+,because i have put another worry,that my mum doesn't need,especially being mothers day today. Im the opposite of a person who holds everything in,Im an instant coffee who has to let things out.I feel really guilty today.

[Pip]

Try not to worry, it's better to get help from your mum than struggle alone.  Remember two heads are better than one when dealing with problems.  The council will have to sort this out as they can't insist that you pay these without you getting advise.

[mar42]

Thanks pip,much appreciated :)

[Catbrian]

I would agree with Pip.  I live in Wandsworth in London.  The council tried to pull this one on me.  It's their responsibility to collect monies for services due.  If they don't squash the debt, you can repay at their minimum amount of about £3.50 per week.  The council will charge Leaseholders for street repairs and improvements like heating.  My council don't usually allow people to pay this in instalments but tell the leaseholders to get the money from their mortgage provider. If that's not possible, then they need to allow you to make small instalments, as you're out of work.

Going to the CAB office is the best way forward.  I have the opposite relationship with my Mum.  If I were you, I would embrace all the help and support she offers.

Try not to let it pull you down, you have enough on your plate already.  These things have the habit of working out, especially with the CAB support.

[Sweetpea]

I am sure your mum would rather know, I know I would if it was one of my boys.  Its better to share than worry on your own.

S x x x x

[mar42]

Thanks catb & shaz,very much appreciated. I have made an appointment with head of the recovery team and see if we can arrange something,Im willing to pay an extra £20 a month on top of the £80 already being paid & if they don't agree then i will have to go to court.

[Sweetpea]

If they have any sense they will agree, it will cost them to take you to court.


Let us know how it goes, take care.

S x x x x

[mar42]

cheers shaz,if you do not hear from me then maybe...... 004 lol  take care marlon

[Pip]

If they don't I would be surprised as at least you are willing to pay.

[Catbrian]

Lol...I doubt you'll get the jail!!  I think £20 p mth is more than reasonable, I'm sure they'll accept.

Hope you're feeling a little better about things.  Financial worries on top of depression, is a nightmare

[mar42]

Thanks cat

[stewart]

thats a lot the council have landed you with.... just where do they expect some people to come up with such amounts....
its not like everyone has several thousand just sitting there.

the CAB would be a good start.

[mar42]

Thanks stewart